


Longing for Harmony

by vusionary



Category: Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: Anal Sex, Drug Use, Forced Sex, Lots of funny awkward moments, M and T hating but loving each other, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mikey trying to be caring, Oral Sex, Semi-Canon based, Takes place right after the game's ending, Typical Michael and Trevor arguments, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, alcohol use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 04:50:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 42,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2375219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vusionary/pseuds/vusionary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even with the obvious loose-ends taken care of, there still were a few that needed attention, namely the strained relationship Michael and Trevor both shared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Life finally seemed to begin to calm down from the insanity it had become. Doing the FIB’s dirty work, running Devin Weston’s errands with no pay, having other people coming after them to kill them – mainly due to Trevor’s antics – it seemed like they were never going to get out of the mess they got into. Michael himself didn’t think he was going to live to see his next birthday, seeing as Devin wanted him dead and Trevor was aching to kill him as well. It was Franklin who saved him – saved both him and Trevor from being put six feet in the ground. It seemed like an impossible feat – going against a private army, the FIB, and everyone else who wanted them dead – but they succeeded.

With the leaders of the major parties dead – namely Steve, Devin, and Wei Cheng – and the FIB and Merryweather finally off their backs, there was no longer anything to worry about, except maybe any investigators that might be adamant about finding the people behind the Union Depository robbery, but even with that the likelihood of anyone identifying them was slim. They had got out clean, for both incidents from what they could tell.

Call it old age, but Michael couldn’t help feel a bit worrisome anyways. The three of them had just pulled off the biggest heist in history, a thought that made him want to squeal in excitement like a little girl but also want to piss his pants. Not only that, but they also killed a few prominent people, all in roughly a 24-hour time span, and there wasn’t the slightest bit of a tremor or shock through the city. Even Weazel News barely covered any of the deaths, yet spent a whole thirty minutes discussing some young celebrity getting jacked up on cocaine and falling off a balcony. The city seemed rather unfazed by the recent events. The silence could have been a good thing – that the people didn’t care – or a bad thing – they were keeping quiet so that the three of them wouldn’t flee or hide.

Michael knew he was safe, but the thing that worried him even more was the fact that he couldn’t get a hold of Trevor. It had been a few days since their showdown at the foundry and Michael figured he’d call and check up on Franklin and Trevor to make sure there wasn’t any heat on either of them. All was quiet on Franklin’s end, save for his buddy Lamar apparently showing up at his house to party with what he called a congratulatory ‘my nigga that clapped all dem big bad dudes’ party.

Then he had tried to contact Trevor, tried again, and again. He left messages, sent him texts. Nothing. It defiantly sparked the curiosity in him. It wasn’t like Trevor to not at least call him back, fuming at him for relentlessly calling him or telling him to fuck off. That wasn’t even happening. Something was wrong, defiantly wrong. He knew Trevor well enough that he was probably out of harm’s way, but what else could trigger this unusual silence from the usual loud, obnoxious, crazy psycho?

Pulling his phone out from his leather jacket pocket as he walked out the front door of his house, Michael swiftly clicked through menus to his contact list, scrolling down to Franklin’s. He brought the phone to his ear, waiting for the other man to pick up.

“Yo, Mike. What’s up?” Franklin answered after a few rings.

“Hey kid. Sorry to bother you again man but, have you heard from T?”

“Nah, man. I haven’t called him for a few days, not since the foundry thing.” Franklin paused for a brief moment before speaking up again. “Why you ask?”

Michael sighed, annoyance coming through in his voice. “I can’t get a hold of him. He’s not answering my calls, my texts…” He trailed off, scoffing to himself. “Either he’s being a dick or something’s wrong.”

“I don’t know what I can help with man. You know him better than me.”

The older man chuckled at Franklin’s remark. “That I do.” He paused, opening the door to his car. “Well, I’m gonna head out to Sandy Shores. Hopefully he’s there and if he is, I’m gonna kick his stubborn ass.”

“You want me to come with you dog, you know, for emotional support? And to break you fools up when y’all start bitchin’ at each other?” Franklin asked, laughing softly as he heard Michael swear under his breath on the other end.

“Nah, it’s alright kid.” Michael answered, stepping inside of this car with a slight groan, his aging body still recuperating from all the hectic action it had been a part of the past few weeks. “Besides, I could use a long drive to clear my head.”

“Alright man. Holla at me later.”

“Sure thing.”

 

\------

 

Unfortunately, Michael wasn’t able to clear his head as he drove. His thought’s kept lingering off to Trevor, namely past events with him that hadn’t been fully resolved. He knew he would have to discuss Ludendorff with him at some point and he dreaded that moment. What Trevor’s reaction would be to the entire truth, he couldn’t say. The man was unpredictable, and even knowing him for as long as he had, Michael still couldn’t read his psychotic friend and perhaps that was a good thing. He even thought for a moment that he was driving to his impending doom and that Trevor was purposely luring him out there to finally blow his brains out over the whole issue. Although, if it was anything like before, he would probably hold off with any violence until he knew everything he wanted to know, torment him about it, THEN blow his brains out.

Even so, he wanted Trevor to be happy. He wanted Trevor to forgive him, if that was even possible. From the moment he arrived in Los Santos Trevor repeatedly reminded him on how much of a snake he was. A liar, a dick, a back-stabber. Even after their successful heist of the Union Depository, Trevor still wouldn’t relent, which led to both him and Trevor into a heated argument in the middle of the bar they were at, and unfortunately Franklin had to be the one to break them up. After that, Trevor had stormed out. Michael knew Trevor was mad at him and would continue to be until he did something to resolve this between them. But Michael knew as well that all the apologies in the world wouldn’t fix anything or heal old wounds. It wouldn’t bring Brad back or change the fact that he did indeed stab Trevor in the back and lied about it up until Trevor unearthed Brad’s corpse in what was supposed to be _his_ grave.

But maybe, just maybe, Trevor would find it in his heart to forgive him. After all, he saved him when he and Dave were cornered by the FIB, Merryweather, and the Agency, cooperated with their final heist together, didn’t fuck up their shoot out at the foundry or end up shooting him instead of the actual bad guys they were after, and even agreed to come out and meet when he called both him and Franklin up for some drinks after their heist.

Even though it was obvious that Trevor wanted him dead, it quickly became apparent to him that Trevor didn’t seem to be able to carry his threats out. After all, that’s all he was – a man with threats. Trevor wasn’t going to kill him, he couldn’t. Every time he had the opportunity, he had hesitated or backed down. There was still something inside Trevor that made him see Michael as a friend, despite all the lies and deception. It was something Michael was starting to slowly realize and feel guilty about.

It was the opposite for him. He had wanted Trevor gone, yet he found himself to not be able to kill Trevor either, perhaps silently hoping he would just go to his demise on his own. He had ample opportunity to do so, but never even tried. He could have easily shot him the moment he entered his house and claim self-defense, or after the Merryweather heist just because he was pissed off at him for putting Franklin and himself in that risky situation for absolutely nothing, or even when he was stuck out at his trailer, burying his body in the desert afterwards. Even as he pointed his gun at Trevor in Ludendorff, he couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger. His finger wasn’t even touching it, hovering over it even when he saw Trevor’s finger wrapped tightly around his. He saw the hurt look in Trevor’s eyes and it just completely stopped him. He couldn’t kill him and he didn’t want to. He already had enough guilt about Brad’s death and stabbing Trevor in the back, and killing his best friend would just add more to his guilty conscious that he already couldn’t handle. He was just afraid of him, afraid of what he might do, afraid of his lousy threats. It made him feel like an idiot.

The very moment Trevor was back in his life, he was pushing him away, fearful and distrusting of him, while Trevor latched on to him, possibly just happy that his best friend was indeed still alive. Despite his unhinged behavior, Trevor was his friend, one of his only closest friends, and he kept trying to swat him away like a pesky fly that wouldn’t stop flying around his head. The conflicting thoughts repeated over and over again in his head – Trevor is the enemy, Trevor is a friend, Trevor is the enemy. Friend, enemy, friend, enemy. It drove Michael insane. What _was_ Trevor to him? A nuisance? A partner in crime? A buddy? A threat? It had been a question he had been asking himself since the day the two confronted each other in Ludendorff. Was he going to take Trevor back as a friend just like the good old days or was he going to continue pushing him away, hoping one day he wouldn’t have to shoot Trevor out of fear? Michael felt like his decision depended on Trevor, whether or not the man would forgive him and move on without worrying about him coming after himself or his family. Either way, Michael knew he had to apologize.

 _I have to at least try._ Michael thought to himself, turning off the highway towards the desert town Trevor resided in. _I owe it to him._

For what seemed eons of having a mental war inside of his head, Michael arrived in Sandy Shores, or as he liked to call it: the dusty, torched, giant ass beach that literally was a shit hole filled with strange people, stranger than the people in Los Santos. He parked across the street east of Trevor’s trailer, got out, and headed towards the decomposing hunk of tin. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except for a Deludamol van parked outside, partially rammed into the chain link fence that surrounded the trailer. Clearly whoever was driving it had been in a rush, with skid marks on the road behind the vehicle and several dents and scraps on the sides and front. He walked around it, examining the van curiously before looking around the area. It was quiet, except for the sound of barking dogs in the distance. No one was around, which Michael was already familiar with from being stuck out there weeks prior.

 _What in the world would Trevor want with Deludamol pills?_ Michael questioned in his head. _That’s not his market, unless he’s broadening his horizons to college kids who are having an early mid-life crisis._ He went back around the van and headed towards the trailer. While going up the steps to the front door, he noticed Trevor’s buddy Ron next door, standing in the doorway of his trailer. Ron looked shaken up, with a clear expression of panic on his face, either from being afraid of him or he possibly had a nasty encounter with Trevor prior to his arrival. “Hey, Trevor here?” He called over, pointing a thumb toward the trailer. He noticed Ron nod his head before slowly scurrying back into his trailer, as if something disastrous was about to happen. “The fuck?” Michael muttered to himself before eyeing the front door to Trevor’s home. His heart began to beat faster, imagining himself opening the door and staring down the barrel of a shotgun. He took a deep breath, praying that this shitty desert wouldn’t be the last thing he saw before he died.

Shoving common courtesy aside to knock, he pushed open the trailer door with an arm and slowly stepped inside. “Trevor?” He asked, looking around the cluttered mess inside before his eyes fell onto the curled up figure on the floor. Trevor lay there on his side with his back towards him in the middle of the trailer, clutching onto either side of his head with his hands. An irritated frown formed across Michael’s face. The first thing that came to his mind: meth. Trevor was having a fit from an overload of the substance. At least, that’s what Michael thought, until he took a step closer and crouched down next to the trembling man on the ground.

Trevor was crying and clearly had been for a while. Tears stained his face and the floor beneath him. His whole body shook and jerked with every sob that came out.

Now this was something Michael was actually familiar with, recalling several times in the past right after they had met that he’d seen Trevor just like this – bawling his eyes out and a complete wreck. Only a couple of things could sprout this kind of reaction from Trevor, a couple of VERY touchy things.

“Hey T.” Michael placed a hand on Trevor’s shoulder, gripping tightly and shaking him slightly. Trevor remained the way he was, not acknowledging his presence. “C’mon man.”

“Fuck off!” Trevor choked out, twisting a bit so that his forehead rested on the floor.

Michael frowned. “I came all this way to fucking check up on you.” He paused, expecting an answer from the other man. When he didn’t get one, he sighed, standing up. “I ain’t leavin’.” Michael bent down and grabbed Trevor’s right arm, attempting to hoist up the other man to his feet, but Trevor just wouldn’t cooperate. His body was dead weight as if he was a child throwing a tantrum. “For God sake T.” Jerking on Trevor’s arm he began to drag him towards his bedroom, but Trevor resisted, trying to jerk his arm from his grasp.

“I said – FUCK OFF!” Trevor shouted with one more jerk with his arm, finally freeing himself from Michael’s grip and nearly caused the other man to fall to the floor.

“Stop acting like a goddamn child!” Michael barked back, shoving Trevor back when the man got to his feet. The thinner man glared at him menacingly, although the redness and wetness of his eyes from crying made him seem that much less threatening. Michael shook his head, pinching the space between his eyes, already fed up with Trevor’s behavior. “What the fuck happened?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Trevor shot back instantly, clenching his fists unconsciously as his rage began to boil over. Michael – for once – wasn’t the reason he was angry. Too many emotions where going through him all at once and it was pushing him over the edge and as much as he wanted to talk about it with someone, Michael, he knew, most likely wouldn’t care to listen even though he was asking. He would just find some way to turn it around and make it about himself, something Trevor didn’t want to deal with at all at the moment.

“Seriously T, I wanna help. Why do you think I’m still here?” Michael tried to explain, taking a step back when he saw Trevor bared his clenched teeth at him, letting out a low growl.

Trevor stood in silence for a moment, eyeing his friend. “It’s…” He began, his body rocking back and forth as he shifted his weight simply from all the pent up energy inside of him, shaking an accusing finger at Michael. “It is none… of your fucking business.” He breathed, his voice becoming low as he tried to stay calm.

“Okay. So what’s with the Deludamol truck then?” Michael asked, unfortunately a bit sarcastically.

“Shut the fuck up I fucking said it was none of your fucking goddamn business!” Trevor snapped back. He turned away, feeling the tears well up in his eyes again. He had actually completely forgotten about the truck and unfortunately it reminded him as to why it was there in the first place. Guilt, shame, incompetence – every thought that made him feel like the worthless wretch because of a certain someone suddenly came back into his mind. He fell to his hands and knees, his back still towards Michael. “F-Fuck…” He whimpered, beginning to cry again.

Michael stood there, unable to make sense of what was going on with Trevor. He jumped slightly when Trevor suddenly wailed loudly before sobbing uncontrollably again, like the way he had found him earlier. It was when Trevor muttered something he narrowed his eyes. He didn’t catch the entirety of the word, but enough of it that it perked his interest. He stepped towards the thinner man, kneeling down next to him and hanging his head low enough so he could hear him this time. “What?” He asked softly, hoping Trevor would respond without keeping him in the dark again.

To his amazement, Trevor did repeat himself, and it was something Michael didn’t exactly expect nor wanted to hear: ‘mother’. He looked at Trevor in shock. A part of him wanted to make some mother issues joke, but with Trevor being in the state he was in and his close proximity to him, chances are he would get the living shit beaten out of him. Plus, he wanted to try to fix their relationship and cracking a ‘yo momma’ joke wasn’t going to help. “What happened T?” He asked again, this time more sternly and sincerely than before. Trevor just shook his head, unable to talk. Michael knew he wasn’t going to get a clear answer this way. Patting Trevor on the back, he straightened out again, staring down at the other man while trying to come up with a solution that wouldn’t end up with him being gutted. Trevor’s mother was defiantly a touchy subject with him and approaching it even with Trevor feeling normal wasn’t easy. He needed him to calm down, preferably without the use of drugs or alcohol. Michael bent down, resting his hands on either side of Trevor’s body and gently hoisting him up. “C’mon. Bed.”

“MI’m…not ‘ired.” Trevor mumbled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He swayed slightly, and probably would have fallen over if Michael wasn’t holding him up.

“That’s the meth talking T.” Michael stated. “You’re goin’ to bed. Relax and get some sleep.”

 

\------

 

The hot, dry air of the desert is what made the place a shitty one. Oddly enough, Michael would take the snowy, cold, desolate area of Ludendorff any day over this desert filled with uneducated hillbillies. Either way, he was stuck out there at Trevor’s trailer, _again_. Thankfully he finally managed to get Trevor to bed without any fight or resistance, and now he was asleep, hopefully resting off whatever stress or narcotic he needed to get rid of.

It didn’t feel right to just up and leave once Trevor was asleep like his mother assumingly had, so Michael grabbed a six-pack from the fridge – which he hoped wasn’t tampered with – and lounged on the loveseat on the deck outside of the trailer with his jacket off and his buttoned up shirt opened up a little, enough to reveal a good part of his upper chest. He would have just sat inside, but the inside of the trailer wasn’t any cooler, plus it smelt bad, so he picked the better of the two worst possible options. Patricia had made it so nice and tidy and that much more tolerable when she was there, Michael kind of missed her for that, not that he wanted to kidnap her again just for that. Then again, he wasn’t the one who kidnaped her in the first place.

Tossing a now empty bottle of beer into the yard, Michael grabbed another from the pack he had brought out, popping the bottle cap off with his hand. Michael laid back along the sofa and let his head fall back against his arm that rested behind it, bringing the bottle up to his forehead, the coolness already beginning to fade from the heat. He eyed the box on the table beside him, the last two bottles sparkling slightly from the sunlight reflecting off the condensation building up on them. Even though he made a resolution to try to drink less, he had nothing else to do while he waited for Trevor to wake up. The other man’s television was in poor shape with a few cracks running across the screen which didn’t make the viewing experience pleasurable, there was nothing to see in the small town filled with dinky trailers and abandoned buildings, and there was no one to talk to besides over the phone. He sighed. “Jesus Christ, what am I doing out here?” He muttered to himself out loud. Closing his eyes, he lowered the bottle to his lips, taking a swig before resting the bottle on his thigh. Michael lay there, listening to the wind kick up the dust on the ground and rattle the dry branches on nearby bushes and trees. Oddly enough he found the ambiance quite relaxing, considering he wasn’t looking at the shitty environment around him. He let his mind wander off, imagining himself laying on a lounger on the beach, waves crashing to shore and palm trees whisking beside him – his own little paradise inside of his head. He had zoned out so much he barely noticed gravel and dirt crunching underneath someone’s shoes as they approached him. Slowly he opened his eyes, seeing Ron creeping up the steps to the trailer.

Ron stopped in front of the trailer door, looking at it briefly before looking over at Michael. When their eyes met, neither man said a word to each other. Michael took another drink from his beer, watching the other man fidget nervously as he stood there looking around. Eventually Ron turned back towards him and finally was the one to speak up.

“Trevor okay?” Ron asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

Taking one more gulp from his beer before setting back onto his thigh, Michael let out a long breath, remaining very nonchalant despite the awkward atmosphere between them. “He’s fine.”

“’Cause he was really freaking out.” Ron quickly asserted.

“It’s nothing new.” Michael responded. “I’ve seen it all before.”

“It’s new to me.”

Michael sat up with a slight groan, earning a slight jolt from the other man as he did so, but he paid no attention to it. “So, tell me – know anything about what happened here?” He questioned to Ron, motioning between the trailer and the Deludamol van still parked outside.

“Not… Not really.” Ron shrugged. “I heard some commotion a few days ago. So I looked outside and saw T staggering out of his trailer. I tried calling over to him but he didn’t answer and just got into his truck and drove off.” He explained.

“And I’m assuming he didn’t seem like himself?” Michael added on.

“I guess so. Now that you mention it, he looked like he was in shock, like the day he heard about your job on the news, like he’d seen a ghost again.”

“Then what? He come back with this?” Michael motioned to the van.

“Probably. I didn’t see him pull up in it. I just heard a loud crash this morning. Looked outside again and didn’t see nothin’ but the van. When I came over to look I heard some weird sounds coming from inside his trailer and that’s when I found him freaking out.” Ron explained, puzzled by the fact that Michael didn’t seem the least bit concerned.

The chubbier man laid back into his prior position, shaking his head. “Ah, goodness…” Michael breathed out, rolling his eyes before taking a drink from his beer again.

Ron frowned, looking slightly agitated. “You… you’re not worried?”

“No. ‘Course not.” That was a partial lie. Michael could have cared less about Trevor’s state at the moment, knowing that with a little bit of meth and liquor he would instantly return to his normal crazy self. The concern lay with the fact that whether or not Trevor’s mother was actually there and what she might have said and done if she had been. He had met her only once, when she had somehow tracked down Trevor not too long after they had met, but that one meeting was enough for Michael. Over-domineering was an understatement. She knew exactly what to say to make Trevor a miserable wreck who would get onto his hands and knees and crawl over to her and beg for her love and forgiveness. Back then, Michael had found the pathetic sight amusing, but over the years of being together with Trevor he quickly realized how damaging an overbearing and severely condescending mother can be. So, with the traumatized condition Trevor was in when he found him, it’s very plausible that she had been there. But, meth was a hell of a drug. Trevor could have hallucinated her being there for all he knew, it’s happened before. Once he had thought he shook the hand of the Queen of England when really he was shaking a tail of a cow in the middle of a farm field, not to mention stripped down to his underwear and socks.

“So… what do we do?” Ron asked, Michael blinking at him in response, previously lost in thought.

“Nothing. At least for right now.” Michael answered, briefly eyeing the now empty bottle of booze in his hand before tossing it over the deck behind him, the bottle hitting something metallic and shattering, which of course startled Ron. “He’s resting. I’ll keep an eye on him.” He waved Ron away, but the other man just stood there, obviously not taking the hint.

“We should make sure he’s okay.” Ron mentioned.

Michael sat up again, stressing his shooing motion with his hand. “Shoo, now.” He demanded.

“And leave him in _your_ hands?” Ron quirked and eyebrow at the fatter man in front of him. He chuckled, motioning to himself with both of his thumbs. “ _I’m_ his partner, CEO of – ”

“I don’t give a _fuck_ who you are.” Michael bellowed loudly, causing Ron to stagger back in fright. “I’ll take care of this. Get out of here.” He repeated harshly, which was more than enough to get Ron down the stairs and running back to his trailer. Michael shook his head, plucking another beer from the box, lying back on the sofa yet again. It was going to be a long day. He wondered if he’d even be able to get back home before dark or if he’d have to bunk with Trevor again, which was something he wanted to avoid at all costs.

For what felt like hours of listening to the wind and feeling the heat of the desert cook his skin, Michael cracked a single eye open upon hearing a clatter from inside the trailer. He got up, opened the front door and stepped inside, finding Trevor sitting on his raggedy sofa with meth pipe in hand. “Hey T.” Michael greeted simply, having that uneasy feeling he had when Trevor first stepped in his house and back into his life after nearly ten years apart. He swallowed when Trevor lifted his head up slightly to look up at him with dead-like eyes. Either he didn’t sleep well or slept too well.

Trevor narrowed his eyes at the man standing before him. “What are you still doin’ here porkchop?” He asked hoarsely, coughing slightly from the first drag he had taken of his preferred substance.

Michael shrugged. “Just waited for you to wake up, to make sure you were okay.” He responded, trying to make it seem as genuine as possible.

“Bull. Shit.” Trevor growled, glaring at the fatter man. “You fucking snake…” He mumbled, lighting up the end of his pipe with a lighter and taking another drag.

“Would you let it fucking go already?!” Michael shot back, anger instantly boiling up inside of him, but he did his best to hold it back.

Trevor shot up from the couch, dropping his pipe on the ground in the process, stomping toward Michael who in return retreated back a few steps. “Give me a good fucking reason as to why I should.” He snarled through clenched teeth, pointing an accusing finger at Michael.

“It was a long time ago and – ”

“Oh yeah, ‘cause time heals old wounds, don’t it?” Trevor snapped back sarcastically, swinging his arms up into the air as he twisted around, marching around the small space of his trailer. “Give it ten, twenty years and maybe ‘ol Trevor would forget!”

“And you need to understand that I was in a tough spot.” Michael tried to explain, but it was obvious Trevor wasn’t ready to back down.

The thinner man spun around and approached Michael again. “Not as tough as the one you’ll be in when I have one hand wrapped around your neck and another down your throat pulling your insides out!”

Michael rolled his eyes at the typical threat. “Trevor…”

“Get the fuck out of here!” Trevor cut Michael off, turning his back on him once more and pointing out the door. He wasn’t in the mood for this. He just wanted to be left alone, as much as he was happy Michael had stuck around until he woke up.

“With pleasure. “ Michael scoffed, snatching his jacket from the loveseat as he stepped outside. He paused mid-stride as he put his jacket back on, peeking back into the trailer. “Ya know, try to play the tough guy all you want, we both know how useless it is to threaten one another.” He said, turning back around and stepping down from the porch, walking to his car.

Trevor walked over to the door, leaning against the frame of it. He watched Michael get into his car and start it up, noticing him glance over afterwards. When their gazes met the only thing on Trevor’s mind was him trying to convince himself to run after him and haul him back into his trailer and never let him leave again. His eyes never left Michael even as the other man turned away, swallowing as he saw his car slowly roll forward. Michael eventually hit the gas and took off and he begged inside of his head for him to come back and leap into his arms like some stupid love story.

He shook his head to rid himself of his yearning thoughts, realizing also that Michael was right about what he said. They were both full of empty threats, particularly him. He could get away with threatening those weaker than himself like Ron or Wade, but Michael was a different story. Michael never took him seriously and could be just as threatening as he was. It reminded him of a few times hormones and testosterone made them clash in the distant past. They were both full of shit, at least Trevor was the one who could admit that he was.

After watching Michael’s car disappear down the road, Trevor let out a heavy sigh. He glanced over to the Deludamol truck, his heart skipping a beat when he laid eyes on it. Biting his bottom lip as his anger and frustration began building up again, he spun around, grabbed the front door, and slammed it shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured I would start posting this since I have most of it done. Hopefully my writing spree won't turn into a writer's block.  
> I just noticed too that this chapter is really short. Ack...


	2. Chapter 2

“What am I gonna do?”

Michael sat slouched on his couch, a bowl of chips on his stomach as he watched one of his favorite crime flicks. He wasn’t paying much attention to the movie though, his thoughts on other things. It had been about a week since he had been out at Trevor’s trailer and stumbled upon him having a mental breakdown and he hadn’t seen nor heard from the other man since. He wanted to call him, but rushing Trevor would just make things worse. He wanted to keep his distance so he didn’t have to deal with him or upset him further than he already had. Yet at the same time, he had to do _something_ , so as not to give Trevor more of a reason to hate his guts or kill him. He had no idea what to do. He had even called Lester for some advice. The computer whiz wasn’t any help, telling him to just ‘kiss and make up’ with Trevor, literally ‘kiss and make up’. Of course Lester would pull the ‘friends with benefits’ joke on him, he honestly didn’t expect any different. Sure there were times in the past where Trevor had said some particularly suggestive things to him, but he just past it off as Trevor being stupid or drunk. Joke all they want Michael didn’t care, he was already use to it, but it didn’t help his situation. An offer of sex or something similar was something Trevor would defiantly accept and enjoy, but he wasn’t going to use it as a bargaining chip for the man’s forgiveness and he defiantly wanted to avoid any and all sexual contact with Trevor.

The chime on his phone startled him out of his thoughts and he jolted forward, spilling the bowl of chips all over the floor. Michael let out an annoyed sigh as he reached over and snatched his phone from the nearby coffee table, pausing upon seeing who it was. Speak of the devil, quite literally. “Trevor?” He questioned after bringing the phone to his ear.

“Yeah, that’s right. It’s your ol’ buddy Trevor.” The other man’s sarcastic response came from the other end.

“What do you want?” Michael asked, pinching the space between his eyes as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Geez, you’re always such a hard-ass Mikey, you know that?” Trevor teased, hearing Michael chuckle on his end. “Anyways, I thought we could go out for a couple drinks. What’dya say?”

Michael raised an eyebrow at the random invite. First Trevor tells him to get lost when he tries to comfort him and now he wants a beer as if nothing happened? Typical Trevor. “A couple? Oh my T, you’re such a lightweight!” He toyed, earning a low growl from the other man.

“I’m just watchin’ my calorie intake, sugar, unlike you.”

“Fuck you.”

Trevor laughed. Michael could tease him all he wanted, but it was so easy for him to get under Michael’s skin in return, it was like a past-time or a hobby for him. “So you gonna roll with me or not?”

“If it keeps you from terrorizing the city and molesting hobos, then sure. I’m at my house.”

“Alrighty!” Trevor gleefully replied. “I’m comin’ to getcha.”

 

\------

 

Barely five minutes had passed by the time Trevor arrived, coming to a screeching halt in the driveway and blaring the horn several times. Michael shook his head with a sigh as he stepped out the front door and closed it shut. He turned and walked to the car, which oddly enough was not Trevor’s truck, which is was he expected to see. It was a sports car and from the looks of it most likely jacked from a rich guy with an inflated ego yet had insecurities about his looks. He opened the door and sat down inside.

“Howdy.” Trevor greeted with a slight grin.

“Hey.” Michael greeted back, still a little apprehensive about being around his psycho friend. “How many pedestrians did you hit to get here so fast?”

“I got two-hundred points. You do the math.” Trevor replied as he backed up the car, earning a laugh from Michael.

“So… two old folk and one of your own kind.”

“My own kind?” Trevor quirked an eyebrow, turning into the street, cutting off two drivers in the process who flipped the bird at them, which didn’t bother Trevor in the slightest.

“A hipster.”

“You call me that again I will break both of your fucking legs.” Trevor instantly snarled in return.

Michael grinned, waiting for Trevor’s eyes to dart over to him. “Hipster.”

“Snake.”

“Psycho.”

“Turd.”

Michael paused, a smile slowly growing on his face. “Franklin’s right, we do argue too much.”

“YOU argue too much.” Trevor shot back, pointing at him.

Chuckling, Michael leaned back into his seat into a more relaxing position. “Right, sure. Whatever you say.”

They drove in silence the rest of the way, the obvious tension between them keeping either of them from saying anything. Michael was still surprised by Trevor’s sudden invitation, despite the current friction going on between them. He was a bit hesitant to even go, but seeing as Trevor was in a fairly good mood and willingly hanging out with him, he thought this would be a good second chance for him to apologize.

Eventually they pulled up to the Bahama Mama’s bar and Trevor parked against the curb a few cars down from the front entrance. “All right. Get your fat ass out.” He ordered as he pulled the key out of the ignition.

“Could you stop poking fun at my weight?” Michael asked as he climbed out of the vehicle. The other man followed suit, shutting his door and locking the car up.

“Nope. Your chubbiness amuses me.” Trevor responded with a smile on his face as he walked past his friend. His playful smile grew into a large grin when he saw Michael glaring at him, eventually cracking up when he got to the bar’s front doors. “You’re too easy to tease you know that?” He said, holding the door open for the other man.

“And it’s very easy to piss me off.” Michael added on, walking past Trevor into the bar who followed after.

“Ain’t that the truth?”

 

\------

 

“So… T?”

“Soooo… what, Sugartits?”

Michael rolled his glass of whiskey in his hand, stirring the liquid. He was nervous, as anyone would be when about to pour their heart out to a person known for decapitating other human beings. “I hope we can move on and get back to the way things were before.” He explained, bringing his drink to his mouth to take a sip, his eyes staying focused on Trevor. The balding man watched him in return, as if he was studying him, most likely because he was not going to buy into anything he said. Their gazes stayed locked to each other for several minutes, the tension between them feeling like gravity was weighing down on Michael’s shoulders, crushing him. Trevor seemed quite calm, although Michael couldn’t read him. He was just sitting there, as if he was the calm before the storm that was likely to strike at any time. Michael let out a heavy sigh, setting his drink back down on the table. “I… I admit. I fucked you over.” He began, his anxiety rising as he slowly prepared his little heart-felt speech in his head, making sure to say everything the right way. “I was in a complicated spot. I choose what I thought was best and I almost lost my best friend because of it. And to make up for it, I want to apologize and give you my share of the money we boosted in our last score.”

“You do?” Trevor raised an eyebrow at Michael, intrigued by his offer.

“Yeah. I don’t really need it.”

Trevor frowned. “I don’t need it either. And I don’t want it. It was never about the money Michael.”

“I know. I… I guess I just want you to be happy.” Michael responded, letting a soft breath escape his mouth. “I’m sorry… for what I did.” Trevor stared at him for a bit, eventually leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest. The other man sat there in silence for a moment, his eyes still on him. He felt like he was going to pass out while he waited for Trevor to respond, his anxiety was boiling over and making him lightheaded.

“I forgive you Michael.”

Michael perked up, surprised that Trevor actually accepted his apology. He felt like the crushing weight from before had been lifted off his shoulders, the dread and anxiety disappearing with Trevor’s words. What shocked him most was how sincere he sounded. Maybe Trevor had a soft spot after all. But really, it couldn’t be that easy, could it? To say sorry and Trevor easily forgives him? The lump in his stomach returned as he thought about it, wondering if Trevor really was ready to forgive him. Ignoring his contemplation for now, Michael managed to crack a smile. “Thank you, Trevor.”

Trevor smirked, grabbing his beer bottle and holding it up to the man across from him. “Friends?”

Grasping his glass, Michael lifted his in return. “Yeah.” He replied, clanking his glass against Trevor’s bottle before the both of them took a drink.

After downing the rest of his beer – which was half of the bottle – Trevor smacked his lips as he set the bottle down rather roughly against the table. “Well, now that we got THAT out of the way…” He began, only to be cut off by Michael.

“You seriously forgive me T?”

Trevor sighed, grumbling softly. “Let’s just say you’ll know what’ll happen if you try pulling that shit again.”

Laughing slightly, Michael took another sip of his drink before setting it down. “I could take a pretty good guess.”

“So Sugartits, what’s on the agenda now?” Trevor asked lightheartedly, changing the subject.

The fatter man leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “Dunno. Just tryin’ to make things better with my family.”

“They back in the house?”

“Yeah, for now.” Michael answered with a smirk.

“HAH!” A hearty, sarcastic laugh came from Trevor. “Let’s see how long that lasts.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be able to last another round of living by myself.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re a pussy Mikey!” Trevor exclaimed, causing Michael to shake his head. “We gotta get your edge back old man!”

Michael raised an eyebrow at the man across from him. “Old man? You’re my age ya know.”

“And lookin’ mighty fine compared to you.” Trevor winked, pointing two fingers at him.

“Oh yeah, ‘cause the scars, scabbing from meth use, and lack of hygiene makes you look fantastic.” Michael toyed with a smile. “You’re a Vinewood Original.”

“At least I don’t look plastic and fake like the rest of this city.” Trevor shot back. “I prefer to be able to convey my emotions through facial expressions and not through, what’cha call ‘em, emotes? Plus you’re probably just jealous that I own a company and am extremely productive! And not sitting on my lazy ass on a lounger letting the sun cook my fat into juicy bacon.”

Michael laughed. “You’re starting to sound like my wife.”

“Psh! We’ve been together long enough that I should be your wife.”

“That’s a scary thought.”

“Not really.” Trevor responded, waving over a waitress. “Unlike Amanda, I’d still be willing to sleep with you and probably wouldn’t have let you become this pathetic, washed up, conceited asshole.”

“Righttt…” Michael replied, rolling his eyes, mentally cringing at the thought of sleeping with him. When the waitress arrived at their table, Trevor ordered another two rounds of drinks. It didn’t surprise him, he knew he’d be having more than two or three drinks with Trevor.

“Seriously, when was the last time your wife gave you any… _attention_?” Trevor asked enunciating the last word, focusing on Michael again after the waitress left. A smile slowly grew on his face when Michael glared at him.

“That’s something you don’t need to know.” Michael replied, his voice low.

Trevor chuckled softly. “Geez, your retiree life is really panning out great isn’t it?”

They earned a few glances from nearby patrons when Michael slammed one of his fists onto the table. He pointed an accusing finger at the man sitting in front of him, but Trevor didn’t flinch. “Fuck. You. I’ll take back my Goddamn apology if you say another word about my miserable life.” He growled angrily.

“At least you realize your life sucks.” Michael didn’t answer him and instead straightened himself out, letting out a long and heavy sigh. Trevor shook his head, sucking on his bottom lip as he thought to himself. It was obvious Michael didn’t take what he said seriously. Why would he? Michael wasn’t like that, even though Trevor wish we was someone he could easily swing in the direction he wanted. It wasn’t the first time he thought about his relationship with Michael, the kind of potential there was between them that would never be acknowledged. The fuel for it was there years ago, just waiting to be sparked and ignited, but then Michael had met Amanda and his attention went to her. Any possibility for an intimate relationship was gone and their friendship became strained. It obviously didn’t bother Michael, but it bothered him. If he hadn’t gotten so close to his kids, he probably wouldn’t have had any contact with Michael at all aside from pulling jobs with him. Michael and Amanda’s relationship had always been rocky and he watched Michael spiral downward during the course of their marriage. He had tried to make Michael happier by making him keep pulling scores, hanging out, and just being up to no good – yet Michael repeatedly overlooked his attempts and him for that matter. It hurt him and Michael didn’t seem to care. Michael wanted a good life and failed to get one, but what he didn’t realize was that with Trevor, he had a perfect life – at least Trevor saw it that way.

It was about time he turned the tables, forcing Michael to pay attention to him and the things he did for him rather than just use him. He wanted to show Michael that with him, his life can be perfect. “But Uncle T’s here to make it all better!” Trevor exclaimed happily, outstretching his arms. A brief smile appeared on the other man’s face, only to be covered by one of his hands, rubbing his mouth. Michael was holding back his feelings, which wasn’t something new to him, and Trevor knew the exact remedy to fix that. “Bring on the booze!” He cheered loudly as the waitress came back with their drinks, the girl giggling as she set their drinks down on the table. “Get us three more rounds sweetheart. Actually, scratch that – bring a whole fucking keg!”

“T… Come on.” Michael groaned, already feeling drained. He really was getting too old for this nonsense.

“You need loosening up porkchop.” Trevor stated. “I’m doin’ you a favor.”

“If you say so.”

 

\------

 

It was always supposed to be just a couple of drinks, but of course between Michael and Trevor, it never turned out that way. They’d be lucky if they ever came out of a bar and remembered doing it. Countless drinks later the two of them staggered out of the bar, bumping shoulders, giggling and snorting about nothing. Both men walked over to their car, Trevor nearly missing the curb and falling face first into the car door, but he caught himself by grabbing onto a nearby light pole. Michael practically burst out laughing because of it, clutching his stomach.

“I… I… I-I am… what’cha call it?” Trevor slurred, swaying as he hung onto the light pole.

“A loonie!” Michael responded with a large smile, staggering back and forth.

“Shut up! Fuck youuu… I’m not Canadian you bastard I’m… I’m drunk is what I am, Sam I am.” Trevor twisted around, still holding onto the light pole for support. He looked over to Michael who was holding a hand out towards him.

“Gimme the keys T, T, T.” Michael shoved his hand closer to Trevor who simply stared down at it in confusion. “You’re drunk. Gimme keys.” He demanded a little more roughly this time.

Trevor shook his head. “Nawww naw NAW! I’m… I am COMPLETELY sober, bro.” He said, waving an objecting finger as well before pointing at Michael, poking him in the chest, causing the other man to stagger back slightly. “You’re drunk!”

“Noooo. No. You’re drunk and I’m Michael, so gimme the keys.”

Trevor paused, staring at Michael’s hand again, his drunk state making him see three. “Yep. You’re right. Here ya go.” He chuckled as he dropped the car keys into the other man’s hand. “Love you…” He murmured before spinning around on a heel towards the car door only to fall against it.

Michael cackled as he stumbled around the car, his hands on the car supporting himself as he went. When he reached the driver’s side door he unlocked it and stepped inside. Trevor joined him – when he finally figured out where the door handle was – letting out a loud belch the moment he landed in the seat. “Nice one bro.” Michael complimented, finally starting to calm down from his fit of giggles only for it to be triggered again when Trevor burped once more.

“Ahhh… that feels much better.” Trevor breathed out in obvious satisfaction, snaking a hand under his shirt to scratch his stomach.

“Where we goin’ now?” Michael asked, starting up the car. “Night’s still young my friend!”

“Let’s go get some boooobs!” Trevor exclaimed excitingly, not realizing with the way he said it, it could be taken a completely different way.

“We just had booze stupid.”

“BOOBSSS! Boobies! Tits! Like the ones you have.”

“Fuck you alright?! I can’t help it that I have tits!” Michael shot back angrily, turning the wheel and driving off, nearly clipping off another vehicle’s side mirror.

“I like your tits… titties.” Trevor muttered softly. “They’re not small, but not too big eitherrr… They’re. Just. Right.” He explained, whispering the last words.

“R-Really? You… you think so?”

“Yeah! Yeah.” Trevor smiled as he responded. “I just… love ya man. I love you. Can we cuddle?”

“No… no. I’m good.”

“I want’chu to hold me man!” Trevor whined, reaching over in an attempt to wrap his arms around Michael.

“I’m driving you fucking turd!” Michael tried pushing Trevor away, accidently letting the car swerve into the opposing lanes in the process. Luckily there wasn’t much traffic and Michael was going slow enough to readjust and put them on the proper side of the road before they hit anyone. He was partially successful shoving Trevor off of him as well, until the other man latched onto his arm instead.

“Your skin’s soft and warm…” Trevor murmured, resting his head on Michael’s arm and humming as he rubbed his cheek on it. The other man tried pulling it away from him but it just made him latch on even tighter.

Michael continued to try and pry his arm free that was held captive by the other man, but between driving and being completely hammered, it was pretty damn difficult to concentrate on multiple things much less one. He turned the steering wheel sharply, pulling to the street curb and slammed on the brakes, much to the surprise of Trevor who whipped forward and rammed his head into the dashboard as a result of not wearing a seat belt.

“FUCK!” Trevor swore loudly, his hands instantly going to his head.

“If you’re gonna do that then I ain’t gonna drive.” Michael explained, putting the car in park as he eyed Trevor, who was rubbing his forehead. Trevor grumbled something under his breath before the both of them looked around, trying to figure out where they ended up.

“Where the fuck did you take us?” Trevor asked.

“I can’t pay attention when you’re messing with me!”

A low, rumbling, growl emitted from Trevor’s throat as he opened his door, kicking it fully open with his foot. He swiftly exited the car, taking a few steps before turning around to face Michael, who was also getting out. “Fuck this then you party pooper. Let’s get a hotel.” He proclaimed, pointing down the street to a nearby building.

They were near the north end of Vespucci Beach, that much Michael could tell when he scanned the area some more. He didn’t even remember being in the car that long to even get to the beach. He looked over to where his friend pointed as he shut the car door. The hotel looked particularly fancy, not something he thought would be Trevor’s taste or even a building a man like Trevor Philips should be entering. “Alright. Yeah.” He agreed. Under normal circumstances he would have ran away from any proposition of staying at a hotel with Trevor, but he was too drunk care nor think clearly about who he was about to bunk with. Neither were in the proper condition to drive and walking along the sidewalks of Los Santos at night while drunk was a recipe for getting mugged or kidnapped for ransom. He didn’t have much of a choice but to crawl into bed with his creepy and crazy buddy.

When Michael approached him, Trevor swung an arm around his neck, pulling him snug against him. “It’ll be just like the good ol’ days!” Trevor said gleefully with a large smile on his face. The other man didn’t respond, but he was too drunk and too happy at the present moment to care that Michael was dreading the rest of the night.

Upon entering the lobby of the hotel, the female clerk at the front desk gave them an odd look instantly, most likely because Trevor was now clinging happily onto Michael like they were a happy couple, much to the chubbier man’s dismay. They stumbled to the counter and the clerk attempted to smile at them.

“How may I help you gentlemen?” She asked.

“Could we get a room please?” Michael replied, eventually swatting Trevor away, who just turned his attention to the clerk instead.

“S-Sure thing.” She responded, trying to avoid eye contact with Trevor, clearly uncomfortable with the way he was staring at her. The moment Michael noticed a devilish grin grow on his face, he shoved him roughly in the shoulder. The other man stumbled to the side, glaring at him in return.

“The fuck was that for?” Trevor growled when Michael didn’t answer him. “Jealous old man? You want my dick instead?” He asked, motioning with his hands towards his crotch.

Michael instantly snapped his head towards Trevor, stunned and slightly blushing. “Fuck no. Keep that filthy thing away from me.” He hissed back, pushing Trevor away when he tried moving closer again. Neither of them saw the slight smile on the clerks face, obviously becoming amused by their bantering.

“Your mouth’s always done a good job at cleaning it up.” Trevor flirted, leaning his back up against the counter. Michael ignored him, returning his attention to the clerk who handed him the keys to their room. Instead of angering him, Michael’s disregard just made Trevor feel that much more mischievous, a playful smirk appearing on his face again as he watched the other man turn towards him.

“Go.” Michael ordered, placing his hands on Trevor’s shoulders and pushing him backwards.

“Bye beautiful!” Trevor called and waved to the clerk before Michael spun him around and forced him to move forward towards the elevators, his hands on his back.

“God, you’re such an animal.” Michael muttered, shoving Trevor into the elevator and pressing the button for their floor.

“Look who’s talkin’.” Trevor narrowed his eyes at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean Mr. Any-Hole’s-A-Goal?”

Trevor shrugged. “Wife’s an ex-pro, slept with a lot of –”

“You call my wife a pro again I will fucking strangle you.” Michael threatened, looking Trevor right in the eye with a glare that would make any normal person shit themselves.

“Just stating the facts cupcake.” Trevor narrowed his eyes back at him, the smirk on his face growing even bigger.

“Got any more facts for me you’d like to share?” Michael muttered as he clenched both of his fists, his frown deepening when Trevor continued to stare at him with a giant smirk plastered on his face.

Before a fight could break out between them, the elevator dinged and the doors opened to their floor. Both hesitated, gazes still locked onto each other. Eventually Michael was the one to move out first, his eyes still on Trevor for a brief moment before he turned his gaze away, walking down the hall. Trevor followed, his eyes scanning up and down the man in front of him. He didn’t have anything particular in mind, but he had become fixated on Michael. There were still times where he thought Michael wasn’t real and just an elaborate illusion brought about from the meth, but he had touched him, smelt him, and heard him speak. He was defiantly there, yet Trevor still felt like he was living in a dream and his memories of Michael were taunting him. Although physically somewhat the same, he was experiencing a slightly different Michael – a Michael that had become a depressing, wishy-washy, cynical moron. It was if he wanted more from him to make sure he wasn’t a hallucination, like a glimpse of the Michael from the past. A part of him certainly wanted the old Michael back and maybe that’s why he was becoming so obsessed with just keeping Michael in his presence. He felt desperate – desperate to drag out the man he used to know and love.

“Well, I’m goin’ to bed.”

Trevor snapped out of his thoughts, hazily scanning around the room with his gaze eventually landing on Michael climbing into the bed – the only bed in the room. He blinked a few times, trying to concentrate and bring back his awareness. He must have been so deep in his thoughts he hadn’t realized they were already to their room. “Woah woah woah! Slow down there cowboy.” Trevor exclaimed, walking to the open side of the bed, kicking off his boots in the process. “We both ain’t gonna fit with your fat ass taking up all the space.”

“It’s a fucking king-sized bed T.” Michael grumbled, already wrapped up in the sheets, lying on his side with his eyes closed. He felt the bed shift as Trevor climbed in and he tightened the sheets around him. “You fucking touch me at all I will kill you, got it?”

“Is that a challenge?” Trevor teased, covering himself with the sheets as well.

“It’s a threat.”

“Not like I haven’t touched you before Mikey.”

“You know what kind of touching I’m referring to.” Suddenly Michael could feel hands guiding themselves around his stomach, and before he could react Trevor’s body was pressed up against his back, his crotch butting up against his ass.

“Like this kind?” Trevor inquired playfully. He snickered as the other man squirmed awkwardly, trying to elbow him but unable to bend his arm enough to hit him. “I thought you liked this kind of touching? You are married to a stripper after all.”

“Fuck you!” Michael yelled, successfully elbowing Trevor in the shoulder after pushing himself away from him. “Let go of me!” He twisted around slightly, his eyes meeting Trevor’s. He froze, a knot instantly forming in his stomach upon seeing the other man’s ominous expression. In an instant Trevor grabbed both of his wrists, pinning them at the sides of his head against his pillow as he got to his knees and climbed on top of him, straddling his body. Trevor stared at him with a death glare, one that could literally kill the weak and innocent with fright. Michael was used to seeing it, but nonetheless it still freaked him out, namely because he had no idea what was on Trevor’s mind or what he was about to do. The alcohol in his system wasn’t aiding his comprehension, trying to figure out what he might’ve said or done to get Trevor to react in such a way. Trevor hovered above him in silence, his grip around his wrists getting tighter and tighter. “What’s your fucking problem?” Michael grunted as he tried to move, but the other man had him pinned down too well.

“My problemmm… Mikey, is you.” Trevor answered slowly and sternly, his voice deep and thick.

“The fuck did I do?” Michael questioned. “I apologized and you forgave me.” He assumed Trevor’s anger now was related to their conversation earlier about Ludendorff, mainly because he couldn’t think of anything else.

“It’s not about what you did…” Trevor trailed off.

Michael swallowed as Trevor’s face seemed to darken above him, the man’s eyes narrowing at him. The knot in his stomach now felt like a rock that was making his whole body skin into the mattress, his nervousness making him feel slightly queasy.

“It’s about who you are.”

Before Michael could comment, Trevor crushed his lips against his, kissing him hungrily and roughly. He grunted from the sudden impact, trying again to fight off Trevor who already had his tongue in his mouth from being caught off guard. Slurping noises came from between them as Trevor moved his tongue around the inside of his mouth, the muscle exploring every part of his mouth. He could taste the cheap beer Trevor had been drinking earlier, not to mention the natural taste that was Trevor. It wasn’t terrible – he had made out with women who tasted worse – but this was Trevor of all people he was making out with and who knows where his mouth has been or what’s been in it, namely cocks of other men or human flesh. He fidgeted underneath Trevor’s weight, trying desperately to free himself, but the man on top of him remained steadfast about keeping him weighed down. There was only one thing he could think of doing that could stop this. Even knowing it would just piss off Trevor even more, Michael snapped his teeth down onto the other man’s tongue, biting him hard.

Trevor yelped from the pain and pulled his mouth away from Michael’s, massaging his tongue along the upper part of his mouth, tasting blood. He narrowed his eyes at Michael who glared at him back. “What, are you looking for a little foreplay Mikey?” He growled, loosening his grip on Michael’s wrists, knowing the man would try to gain control over the situation. He grinned when Michael did just that, sitting up quickly and ripping his hands free from his grasp before attempting to push him back. Grabbing Michael’s arm, Trevor used that momentum to spin him around, shoving him face first against the mattress. A muffled cry came from Michael as he whipped his arms around roughly, bringing them to his back. While holding both of his wrists with one hand, Trevor snaked a hand around the other man’s waist, going to his belt and undoing it. By that time Michael had turned his head so that he wouldn’t suffocate, trying to glance back to see what he was trying to do. Trevor leaned forward, his mouth going to Michael’s ear, licking and nipping at it, earning a disgusted groan from the other man.

“Let’s see how much of an ego you have left when I’m through with you.” Trevor breathed into Michael’s ear, sitting up again and yanking his belt off. Skillfully he wrapped the belt around Michael’s wrists, binding it as tight as he could before latching it.

“Fucking prick.” Michael muttered into the pillow. He knew what was happening – or better put, what was about to happen. He wasn’t sure if it would be better to let Trevor to do what he wanted or resist. If Trevor was so fixated to do something, he was going to do it, even if he had to knock him out to do it. Even so, Michael wasn’t about to give in and let Trevor get control – or worst, become his bitch. He struggled again as Trevor sat down on his ass, realizing quickly just how well he had bound his arms. He twisted a bit, just enough to peek behind him to look up at Trevor, his vision still slightly blurred from the alcohol. “Proud of yourself?” Michael asked upon seeing Trevor gazing down at him, looking as if he was fancying his prize.

“When I tune you down a few notches I will be.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Michael snapped back, a slight gasp escaped his mouth when Trevor grabbed his hips and turned him around so that he was on his back. The other man’s hands when to his pants, beginning to undo them. “OH fuck no!” Michael shouted, jerking his hips away. “You better fucking not!”

“Shut up Townley!” Trevor growled. “I’ve been waiting too long for this!” He continued to undo the other man’s pants, despite the resistance Michael was putting up.

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Michael asked, beginning to panic. He kicked and squirmed, but neither was stopping Trevor.

Trevor didn’t answer and instead yanked Michael’s pants down, pulling them off his feet and tossing them to the floor. His eyes became glued to the other man’s crotch, instantly feeling a rush of heat to his own groin, sparking his arousal. His focus was interrupted when a knee flew towards his head. He leaned back, easily stopping Michael’s attack despite the alcohol impairing his reactions. His hands went to his thighs and forced them to spread, causing Michael to cry out slightly from being bent too far and too roughly.

“I swear to God if you do what I think you’re gonna do I will fucking kill you!” Michael swallowed when Trevor’s eyes darted over to meet his gaze, a fiery blaze reflected in them. Suddenly the other man leaned forward and slammed both his hands down on both of his shoulders, pinning him down with great force.

“You’d fucking love that wouldn’t you?!” Trevor snarled back, his viciousness finally coming through in his voice. Michael was silent, eyes wide and biting his bottom lip, clearly startled by his sudden rage, that or he finally realized it was time to stop running his mouth. “You’d love it if I were dead. I’ve been nothing but faithful and loyal to your sorry ass and all you can think about is getting rid of me!” He practically shouted in Michael’s face, pausing for a bit as his breathing became rough from the energy surging through his body from his anger, the alcohol in him contributing to it as well. “Well guess what cupcake, I ain’t goin’ nowhere and YOU AIN’T NEVER GETTING RID OF ME OR TURNING YOUR BACK ON ME EVER AGAIN!!!” He removed his hands from Michael’s shoulders and went for his shirt, fiercely unbuttoning it.

“Trevor, I – ”

“SHUT UP!” Trevor fumed, literally ripping the other man’s shirts apart when he grew impatient. “Shut up before I fucking gag you… with my cock!” Once he was satisfied that he had uncovered enough area to explore he ducked his head down, latching onto a nipple and sucking roughly.

Michael gasped, whimpering as he squirmed, unable to ignore Trevor’s tongue circling and teasing the hardening nub. A hand trailed down his stomach to his groin, rubbing his flaccid dick through his briefs before two fingers hooked onto the edge of his underwear and began to pull it down. His heart raced, panic beginning to set even more in when it finally hit him as to what he was about to experience. At the same time, he could feel his body craving for this, craving for the contact that he hardly got from his wife nowadays. It disgusted him that part of him wanted Trevor to keep touching him until he got off, but he couldn’t rid his mind of it. His body shuttered when he felt Trevor move down, his lips brushing against his skin, his hot breath against his cool skin sent the familiar tingling sensation to his dick, which was now exposed. Trevor hovered over it briefly before lowering his head, grasping the soft flesh with his hand and wrapping his lips around the tip.

“Fuck…” Michael swore softly, his breathing becoming more erratic as Trevor sucked, bobbing his head up and down his length. He sucked in a breath when the other man took him in fully, feeling the tightness of his throat. The wet heat of Trevor’s mouth was making him dizzy and his tongue running against the shaft of his dick wasn’t helping, causing him to twitch to life in the man’s mouth. He could feel his blood race to his crotch, Trevor’s sucking bringing a boiling and sensational arousal to him that he hadn’t felt in years. He didn’t want to think about it, but he was quickly reminded of other times Trevor had given him a blow job and how amazing he was at giving one. He was better than Amanda and his hardening dick was proof of it.

Suddenly Trevor withdrew, taking in a few harsh breaths before taking Michael’s dick in his mouth again. He picked up the pace, alternating between deep-throating and sucking roughly. Michael tasted just as he remembered – salty but sweet. Everything about Michael was exactly how he remembered, for the exception of his newly developed pathetic personality that was worse than his soft side that he got after his kids were born. He was determined to get rid of it however, and bring back his best friend that he met on that runway all those years ago with an old man running after him who ended up on the ground with a flare burning in his skull. The brash, reckless, and hot tempered bulky kid that he looked up to for being a professional criminal and for is fucking corny charm and boisterous natureus r and Amanda probably did toothat he looked up to for being a professional criminal and is fucking annoying charm and – something he fell for and Amanda probably did too, something he couldn’t blame her for. How he was going to do it, well, he hadn’t really thought about it. He was too drunk to even remember his previous thoughts when he was following Michael in the hallway much less any other thought. He was too overcome by his own arousal, feeling like a dog smelling and fucking a bitch in heat, Michael being that bitch.

When his jaw was beginning to ache, Trevor released Michael from his mouth. Seeing the other man try to rise up, he instantly shoved him back down, straddling over his chest. He went to undo his own pants, Michael squirming again underneath him as he did so. With his cock finally out he shifted to his knees, pressing his hardness against the other man’s lips, who turned his head away.

“Time for you to return the favor cocksucker.” Trevor growled, grabbing Michael’s head with his free hand to prevent it from moving.

If he was a little more coherent, Michael could have kept Trevor from thrusting his dick into his mouth, but he couldn’t concentrate enough to breathe through this nose rather than his mouth. Sweaty, salty, and tangy taste that was Trevor all its own was on his tongue, the combination of the taste and size making him swallow back a gag. He glared up at Trevor who had some creepy smirk on his face.

“Now this is a sight I thought I would never get to see.” A low rumble slid from Trevor’s mouth, licking his lips as his cock twitched in Michael’s mouth. The other man glowered further below him and he slammed his hand on his forehead, knowing all too well of Michael’s intentions. “You fucking sink your teeth into my cock and I will rip your jaw straight off.” He warned, slowly shoving himself further in-between Michael’s moist lips. The man below flinched as his mouth had to open wider for him. For someone who was a loud, self-worshipping, lying asshole he has a fairly narrow opening for all that narcissism to spill out. But for Trevor that just made for a more pleasurable experience, Michael’s mouth tightening significantly when he deep throated him.

There was a voice screaming at the back of Trevor’s head, yelling at him to stop and realize what he was doing. He could barely hear it, his desire numbing every function that wasn’t necessary at the moment, including his logic and awareness. To him he was getting his just deserts, everything that he deserved. It was his rational part of him that kept trying to pull him back from the situation. The constant doubt and anxiety that kept making him hesitate was just infuriating him even more as if he had to prove something to himself.

Gradually he plunged himself faster, until he was face fucking Michael roughly, a gagging gurgling sound coming from him each time he shoved himself all the way in. He lost himself for a moment, relishing his friend’s hot, wet mouth for the first time, although he may never remember it beyond this night for how intoxicated he was. But that didn’t matter to him for the thought that came to mind next preceded pleasure from anything else.

“Yeah you better get that nice and fucking wet.” Trevor groaned deeply, a shallow gasp escaping him. Eventually he pulled away, leaving Michael’s gaping mouth and shivering when the cool air hit his spit-drenched cock.

Before any thought could enter Michael’s mind, Trevor was off of him and he was flipped back onto his stomach and lifted to his knees. He felt Trevor’s slick fingers in him and a pained groan emitted from his throat as the man stretched him. This was happening, Trevor was going to fuck him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He could plead with him, tell him he should listen to his more rational part of his brain for once rather than his neurotic instincts but he knew it would fall on deaf ears. He tried to look behind him but the other man pushed against his hips causing his face to bury itself into the pillows. He couldn’t bring himself to fight back anymore. His body was giving in and he hated himself for it. Maybe he did want this, maybe he wanted to know why the hell Trevor was doing this to him, or maybe he was hoping Trevor would realize on his own what he was doing and stop, the latter being highly unlikely.

Trevor spit on his hand before grasping his cock and stroking himself roughly. His gaze was locked onto Michael’s ass staring up at him. His brain felt like it was melting at the sight, his senses trained on every spark of energy that coursed through his body as he caressed Michael’s hip with his hand. His lungs feeling like they were shrinking. His breathing became quick and harsh, drool escaping the corner of his mouth while his mouth gaped open, panting hungrily for the meal waiting for him. “Fucking hell…” He swore, shifting to his knees and positioning himself at Michael’s entrance. He couldn’t wait anymore. Every second he waited the more his rational part of his brain nagged him to calm down and think.

Feeling Trevor’s dick prodding against him made Michael’s body shutter in fear. He glanced back as best as he could, seeing Trevor wide-eyed and feverish, his face flushed with his gaze completely fixated down at what he was doing. “T-Trevor… please… don’t.” He pleaded, a pained cry escaping him when Trevor started pushing himself faster and further into him. He felt like he was tearing him apart, his muscles clenching tightly in a vain attempt to keep him out. It hurt; Michael knew it was going to hurt. Even though he prepared his body for it he quickly realized it was going to hurt more than anything he’d experience, including the bullet that struck him in the chest from Dave’s rifle. Despite the protective armor, having a metal projectile traveling approximately 3000 feet per second can still be painful when it strikes. Having someone shove their dick in someone else’s ass is obviously different, but to Michael it wasn’t any less excruciating.

“Stop! Please stop T!” Michael begged again with even more desperation. He wondered if Trevor could even hear him, noticing just how infused with the moment he was by throwing his head back with his eyes fluttering close. Trevor wasn’t going to stop now. Michael shut his eyes tightly, biting on the pillow as Trevor finally hilted himself within him. The other man didn’t move right away, hearing him letting out a loud groan like some horny beast. Taking advantage of the brief pause that he had, Michael tried to relax himself, hoping that it would hurt less if he wasn’t so tense. Then Trevor pulled back and Michael bit down harder on the pillow. This was it, he was going to get fucked by a horny and unforgiving Trevor Philips right into the fucking ground, literally. He waited and waited, but nothing happened. Oddly enough, Trevor pulled all the way out. It was as Michael went to look back at him in confusion did he shove himself back in, his hips smacking against his ass.

Michael wailed in agony below him as he slammed against him, his hips moving on their own. Trevor could hear the voices again, screaming at him ‘What are you doing?!’ and ‘Look at what you’re doing!’. He had no answer, no response; he didn’t even comprehend anything at all. He had blacked-out by then and it wasn’t fully due the alcohol. God, Michael just felt so good, not only to be moving inside of him but also breaking apart his ego. Every wet-dream, hallucination, and memory didn’t compare to this. He finally had it, he finally had Michael all to himself and was never going to give him up to anyone, and that was the aspect that made him lose control of himself. The love of his life was right there before him and he was having sex with him – it was euphoric. Little could he realize the agonizing pain he was putting Michael through and that Michael didn’t even want this. His intoxicated mind was seeing a different picture; Michael lying there, panting and moaning his name and not Michael crying and begging him to stop.

The pillow muffled most of his grunts and cries, even though Michael wasn’t purposefully trying to hide it. Tears formed in his eyes as Trevor moved faster, his cock pounding against a certain spot deep in him. His body was becoming confused, his brain telling it that it was in pain yet the spot Trevor was hitting sent pleasurable shockwaves through him. A stifled moan escaped him every time Trevor hit him in the right spot, unable to ignore the pleasurable feeling gathering in his groin and shooting up his spine. Michael didn’t know what the other man was hitting but he didn’t care, he just wanted this nightmare to end.

The room echoed the sounds of skin slapping against each other and thumps from the bed hitting against the wall. Décor rattled on the nightstands and gasps and breaths from Trevor also filled the air. From thrusting so hard into him, Trevor literally had fucked Michael into the mattress, the fatter man now mostly lying against the bed with his legs still spread. Trevor leaned down a bit, resting his hands on Michael’s shoulders, pushing him down. The new position just helped him pound into Michael harder and deeper. He groaned from Michael’s tightness, his hot muscle surrounding him along with the friction making him feel like his dick was on fire. Hell, the air around him felt unnaturally cold against his sweating, hot body. His heart was pounding against his chest painfully and he was choking on his own breaths, feeling like he was going to pass out. Amber eyes locked onto Michael, seeing his face contort in pain. Still, he didn’t see it and didn’t realize it.

“Fuck… Fuck fuck fuck FUCK!” Michael cried out repeatedly until his voice was lost to him, the mixture of pleasure and pain from Trevor’s fierce thrusts shooting up his spine, making every muscle in his body tighten in defense. He could hardly breathe due to being pinned against the mattress and getting the wind knocked out of him by being fucked. It was even painful to keep his eyes shut. With his face practically buried in the pillow, that’s all he could stare at, his tongue against the fabric from his mouth being open constantly to breathe. _Please, just let me pass out. Let me pass out…_ He pleaded in his mind.

A slight smile crept onto Trevor’s face, his breaths becoming faster and harsher with each thrust. He leaned down towards Michael, his mouth going to lick his earlobe. “Yeah, that’s right. You fucked me over, so I’m literally fucking you over.” He breathed into the other man’s ear before nipping at it.

Michael didn’t respond – mainly because he was about ready to faint. He just kept repeating in his mind that it would be over soon and that everything would be okay – Trevor wouldn’t kill him, because he would kill him first. Despite the pain, Trevor’s hot breathing his in ear coupled with him hitting his prostate made his body shiver in delight, but it still wasn’t enough to override the stinging pain. That is, until Trevor started whispering dirty shit to him and as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t ignore it.

“Feel good, huh?” Trevor grunted, still licking at Michael’s ear. “God damn you’re tight.” He felt Michael tighten around him even further and noticed his body shutter erratically, signaling that he was close to his climax, at least Trevor assumed so. “You gonna come?” He asked, snaking a hand around and grasping the other man’s dick, pumping it in time with his thrusts. “Fuckin’ come for me you sexy shit.”

Michael wasn’t aware of his own painful erection until Trevor took a hold of it in his hand. A few soft moans slid from his mouth, his hips unconsciously bucking into Trevor’s hand. Fuck, he wasn’t enjoying this, yet his body responded so positively to everything Trevor did to him that felt good. Not only that, the pain was starting to turn into some sick pleasure, part of his brain finding his submissive position erotic. Now Trevor was jerking him off and it was becoming too much to bear. Michael gasps grew louder and more frequent, his hips practically thrusting into Trevor’s hand, his orgasm desperate to release itself all over the sheets.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck Michael.” Trevor breathed out, tightening his hand around Michael’s dick. “Oh God, you’re sooo good Mike. You feel so fucking good.” He could feel his own orgasm building up, a tingling sensation spreading from his crotch and up his back. “I’m gonna… I’m… I’m gonna come. Fuck I’m gonna-FUCK!” A choked cough came from him as he snapped his hips forward, releasing his hot seed inside of his friend. His whole body jerked in response to his intense climax, his lungs unable to take any air in for a full thirty seconds before he inhaled deeply, choking again on the air he breathed in. “Ohhh fuck Mikey…” Moaning, he collapsed onto the man beneath him, spent. “Fuck, I love you.” He could hear stifled sniffs from Michael, but paid no attention. His mind only thinking about what he just experienced – this amazing moment that he had been waiting for forever; if only he had more energy to go again.

A few minutes of laying on top of Michael, Trevor finally raised himself up with his arms, falling to the side against the bed, letting out a heavy sigh. Sleep overcame him quickly, his whole body relaxing, practically melting into the mattress. He wrapped his arms around Michael and pulled himself close to his body – or maybe he was dreaming it, he wasn’t sure, but he was happy, happier than he’d been in a long time. Yet those voices were still screaming at him, asking him what he had done, telling him to open his eyes and look. He paid no attention, but they just responded with more intensity.

_Do you realize what you’ve just done?!_

_Shut up, just shut the hell up._ He yelled back to the voices. Then he heard it, the voice that he loved, the voice that belong to his one and only, and it stabbed him in the heart.

_You hurt me._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh noes Trevor what has you done? D: I actually had trouble writing the sex part for this chapter for the longest time. Usually writing sex is easy for me. Haha.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments! Always a pleasure to provide smut to my fellow fandom peeps. (“⌒∇⌒”)


	3. Chapter 3

If it wasn’t for the sun peeking through the blinds, Michael could’ve slept for hours, maybe even the entire day. He blinked his eyes open, not even attempting to move his body. He felt so exhausted and he could tell he had a mild hangover. Closing his eyes, he let out a shallow sigh, trying to remember what happened and how he got there. Only when he finally moved his hands up to rub his face which caused a sharp pain to shoot up his spine did he vaguely remember the night before.

Trevor.

“Fucking motherfucker.” He muttered slowly, still rubbing his face and eyes, trying to wake himself up more so he could at least attempt to get out of bed. He remembered he went out drinking with Trevor, then eventually getting into bed with him. How they got to the hotel and why they were there Michael couldn’t remember, but that wasn’t important to him. The main memory that came to him that also explained his pain and soreness is what freaked him out most.

He had sex with Trevor – or better put – Trevor had sex with _him_. Then more memories flooded into his mind – Trevor mercilessly slamming into him, forcing his dick in his mouth, whispering dirty things to him as he fucked him hard, and finally the feeling of Trevor’s last thrust and coming inside of him. It made him sick to his stomach. A part of him wanted to cry, partly from the pain and partly because he was essentially sexually assaulted, and an even sicker part of his brain actually was trying to convince him that he enjoyed it.

Moving his hands away from his face, Michael eyed his wrists, noticing a few red marks still fairly prominent on his skin. He remembered Trevor had bonded his wrists and he was sure he had fallen asleep – that or passed out – with his wrists still bound, unless the other man had been kind enough after he fallen asleep or before he woke up to remove the belt from his wrists.

Then it hit him. He snapped his head to the side, expecting to see Trevor, most likely with a creepy grin on his face. The space next to him on the bed was empty. Trevor was gone. With a loud groan he sat up, a hand going to his back in an attempt to rub the soreness away. He looked around the empty room. There wasn’t any sign of the psychopath. He first assumed that he was just in the bathroom, but from what he could see and hear, the room looked dark and quiet. He expected to be the first one awake, leaving before Trevor woke up – after strangling the man – but the rough night prior must have knocked him out fairly well.

Michael sighed. He figured he might as well get up and get home, lest Amanda accuse him of cheating on her, which he technically did despite the fact he didn’t want it. He got out of bed – not caring that he was still completely naked – and walked to the bathroom, contemplating brutal ways to kill Trevor or at least torture him in ways he wouldn’t enjoy, which was a difficult thing to accomplish.

 

\------

 

Somehow Trevor had found his way back to the strip club, despite how lethargic he was. It wasn’t because of the liquor though, it was the millions of thoughts going through his mind and the fact that his heart was beating so hard that he felt like it was going to break through his rib cage and leap out of his chest. He sat there, leaning back in his desk chair, arms crossed tightly against his chest, the amplified music from the club not helping his headache from his hangover or his constant thinking. He had woken up before Michael had, guilt suddenly hitting him upon seeing the man’s sleeping form next to him. He couldn’t figure out what he had been thinking or why he did what he did. His mind and body had been so fueled by alcohol and rage he took control of Michael and assaulted him the night prior. The moment he realized what he had done he had jumped out of bed, dressed, and bolted out of the door and the hotel.

Rarely did he regret something he had done, but for once in his life, he regretted something he had done. He raped Michael. He raped his best friend, the lying, despicable asshole he loved and cared for.

Leaping to his feet, Trevor stormed towards the wall opposite of him, screaming in agitation as he slammed his fist into the wall. The impact sent a crack to ripple up towards the ceiling. He punched the wall a few more times before spinning around, stepping to another wall and hurling his head into it. He staggered back, hardily feeling the pain and blood trailing down the side of his head due to the adrenaline coursing through him. “FUCKING FUCK!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, twirling around to land one more hard punch into the wall with his fist, which was already bleeding from the prior blows.

He was feeling too many emotions to even feel any emotion. Anger, sadness, guilt, rage, shame – everything was coming out at once. He felt numb, yet he felt every single ounce of pain, both mental and physical. As much as he hated Michael for what he did and for the lying shit he was, he hated himself for what he did to Michael. He didn’t even have his feelings in order to give a good reason as to why he did what he did. He wanted Michael and hurting him was just going to drive him farther away than he already was, he knew that. He wanted to blame the alcohol for his actions along with his lonely, broken heart Michael left him with nine years ago, but he couldn’t. He could only blame himself.

It wasn’t necessarily the raping part that had Trevor in a tizzy, it was the fact that he had done something wrong, specifically taking advantage of Michael against his own will and hurting him in the process. Throughout his life he was criticized constantly for doing things that were wrong, even things that weren’t necessarily wrong. His mother and anyone else would beat him down for anything that he did. It developed an unwavering fear of committing mistakes – big or small – which resulted in him beating himself up for anything he felt was wrong to do, blaming and belittling himself. Often times he never noticed or cared, but when he did, he couldn’t control himself. The anger within himself would destroy him from the inside out while the anxiety would then make him collapse in a giant heap of misery. His mind would tell him he was a failure, a no good piece of shit that didn’t deserve to breathe must less have anyone love him; just a continuous battering that he himself would make himself endure, just because he didn’t know any better. It was what he learned, it was what he was used to – a never ending wave of condescending remarks.

Many things he did in his life were technically wrong to do – robbing, killing, molesting – but then there were certain things to him that were immoral to do and raping Michael was defiantly a big no-no. He didn’t harm friends, especially Michael, and didn’t want to hurt or anger anyone he cared about, yet always still managed to find ways to do it unknowingly and unintentionally. He was loyal and trustful, not a backstabber or a liar like a certain someone he knew.

Trevor stood in the middle of the office room, his whole body trembling. He was clenching his fist so tight his knuckles were turning white. Tears were beginning to form in his eyes and he blinked, trying to rid of the sensation. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to just fall to the ground and curl into a ball and let the world pass him by. He could feel his veins pulsing as blood flowed through his body, his muscles so tense that he couldn’t move. Even so, he felt like he needed to move, to go ballistic, to turn into a storm and take out everyone that was in his path.

Next thing he knew he was screaming again, clutching both sides of his head. Everything starting going by as a blur. He was tumbling around the room, bumping and ramming himself into the walls and his desk, the room spinning around him. Voices from around him were shouting something inaudible at him, but it didn’t matter what they were saying, he only heard negative remarks directed at him. Eventually he found himself staring at the floor and when his mind briefly came back to reality and figured out where he had ended up, he began beating the floor with his fists, yelling incoherently in the carpet.

Temper tantrum? Over-reaction? Possibly. This was the only way his body and mind knew how to react. But it wasn’t for attention nor pity – it was to shame himself for what he did. It was his fault and he felt he needed punishing, yet part of his mind was screaming ‘It was a mistake!’ to which he should feel no burden. It was the conflict that drove him insane. He didn’t know how to define what actions were good and what were bad. He could have raped some other dude and he would be perfectly fine with it. In fact he’d probably strut around feeling proud of himself.

He couldn’t do anything to Michael. He couldn’t hurt him. Yet, he’d let Michael do whatever he wanted to him, even if it did hurt him and let him get away with it. Why?

_Why?_ The single word echoed in his mind as Trevor staggered out of the back door of the strip club. Amber eyes brimming with fire locked onto a lone man standing right outside the door with his back to him, smoking a cigarette. His body moved on impulse, his hand clenching into a fist and like a bolt of lightning, striking the man right on the back of his head. The man went down, instantly unconscious, blood coming out of his nose. Trevor hovered above the body, his mind observing the situation. Was he at fault? Was this wrong?

_Nope. It was the other guy’s fault. He shouldn’t have been standing there_. A random voiced ringed in the back of Trevor’s mind. That’s how Trevor’s mind worked. Quick and simple. This was just some random person. He didn’t care. Yet, if it had been Michael standing there, would he feel different?

Suddenly the image of the body below changed, and Trevor was seeing a more familiar figure. He staggered back, his eyes going wide. His vision was still hazy, but he could recognize the person on the ground.

Michael. _Why was he here? No. It isn’t him. It couldn’t possibly be him._

Shaking his head violently Trevor stomped back towards the body, snarling as he lifted his foot and slammed it down on the man’s shoulder, hearing it crack. “You’re. Not. Michael!” He hollered, continuing stomping and kicking the man’s lifeless body. “Don’t you fucking trick me! I’ve had enough of people lying to me!!!” He could feel himself moving, but he couldn’t see what he was doing. Mentally, he was not there, he had finally reached his breaking point and went beyond his mild disorders. He lost control to his body, his rage, and his irrational impulses. The true psycho Trevor was finally coming out.

“Fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU!!!” As he screamed his voice cracked, the bit of sadness he still felt suddenly washing over him. It only fueled his rage however, leaning down to grab the man’s legs before dragging him towards the area underneath the highway. Once under the overpass, he just dropped the man’s legs, both landing with a thud on the pavement. Not even bothering to hide the body, Trevor began to walk towards his truck, only to suddenly stop and turn around back towards the body. “Don’t you ever fucking lie to me again!” He yelled down at the man, pointing an accusing finger at him, his whole arm shaking. “You fucking little shit!” He kicked the man’s head hard before spinning around and heading towards his truck.

The trucks engine seemed to calm him down briefly, his brain now a little more aware of his surroundings. When he realized he was in his truck, Trevor’s eyes locked onto his hands, gripping onto the steering wheel with a death grip. He still couldn’t feel anything. He couldn’t feel how quickly he was breathing, he could only hear his harsh and rapid breaths. After some hesitation he put the truck in drive and slammed his foot down on the gas pedal, speeding off through the alleyway to the road.

_Is that guy hurt? Is he dead?_ Said a few random thoughts in the back of his mind.

_Who gives a flying fuck?!_ He thought to himself. _It’s not Michael. Michael’s not hurt. Michael’s not dead. Michael’s not… he’s not… not… here._

At that moment, a choking sob interrupted his thoughts. Trevor shook his head violently, his hands clutching the steering wheel tighter, trying to hold in his emotions before they made him burst. Soon he was sobbing again despite his restraint, tears sliding down his cheeks.

_He doesn’t care. He never did._

 

\------

 

Tapping the edge of his phone with his index finger, Michael stared at Trevor’s contact, biting the inside of his cheek with the way Trevor’s picture innocently mocked him. He wanted to call and say “Hey let’s go out, so I can burn you alive and feed your body to the sharks”. He wanted to so badly, but something kept him from dialing Trevor’s number. Fear maybe, or maybe he was still in shock over what happened. He was still in a bit of pain, even as he sat on his expensive, leather, ultra-cushioned couch. Even after all the scrubbing and soaking in the tub the night before didn’t seem to alleviate the pain or make him feel less filthy and violated. He had to train himself yesterday to not react to the cum that would occasionally make its way out of himself when he was around Amanda, who would always look at him with a suspicious expression on her face when he flinched from it. Thankfully there wasn’t any leakage anymore, the rest probably made its way where it needed to go, trying to impregnate him – as disgusting as Michael thought that was, it was probably true. He’d just chuckle it off, thinking if he could get pregnant he could go on one of those reality TV shows where chicks get tests done to convince some guy that they’re their baby’s daddy and hilarity and insanity ensues when they find out. Trevor flipping out over finding out he was the father would probably get them the best ratings for eternity – or leave the host and entire audience dead.

Even if he couldn’t get himself to talk to Trevor, he felt like he had to talk to someone. Amanda defiantly wasn’t an option, nor were his kids. Lester wasn’t an option either, knowing him he would have probably already found out using his computer ninja skills and given him shit about it. Franklin? No, he didn’t want to drag Franklin into this, but there wasn’t anyone else to call. All the other contacts he had were either dead or freaks he’d met once and somehow got their phone number. So much for having and getting a bigger social circle.

Michael flicked up towards Franklin’s contact, tapping on it once and tapping it again to call. He brought it to his ear, the dial tone echoing in his ear and making him even more nervous as it went on. He took in a long breath, releasing it just as he heard the younger man’s voice.

“Hey Mike. How you doin’ man?” Franklin answered.

“Uh… umm… Fine! Fine.” Michael stuttered, trying his best to sound upbeat despite his rage and desire to gut Trevor. “Hey, care to have a couple of drinks with this old man?” He could hear Franklin hesitate on the other end, who most likely picked up on his odd tone.

“S-Sure. Sounds like fun.” Franklin eventually responded.

“Great! Would you like me to pick you up?”

“Thanks dog but, I gotta take care of a few things first. I’ll meet you there a’right?”

“Alright. I’ll see you later then. I’ll text you when I’m there.” With that, Michael hung up, sighing afterwards. He wasn’t looking forward to this, but he had no one else to talk to or turn to for advice. Unfortunately, he knew what he had to talk about was probably going to scar Franklin for life.

 

\------

 

Franklin took a little longer than he expect to and he hoped Michael wasn’t too furious. Then again, Michael was doing a much better job at controlling his anger, even with the man known as Trevor Philips stalking him like a vulture waiting to take out its prey when it was the most vulnerable. He walked into the bar a little after noon, navigating through the tables and chairs. Eventually he spotted Michael sitting at the bar, waving him over. The man looked miserable, slouched over with his chin resting on his hand, his face sunken in as if he wasn’t getting enough sleep, that or he spend the last few nights trying to drink himself into a coma.

“Hey man, thanks for coming.” Michael greeted Franklin as he walked up to him, patting him on the upper back when he sat down.

“Yeah, no problem, dog.” Franklin smiled at the older man, ordering a beer when the bartender came over. Neither man spoke for several minutes. Even after Franklin received his drink, they both sat in silence. He took a couple of drinks, wondering what the odd silence from Michael was all about. “So, what’s up?”

Michael’s eyes darted over to Franklin, taking in a short breath as he straightened out. “Nothing much.”

“Yeah, the unusual tone in your voice when you called me and your withdrawn demeanor really says ‘nothin’s goin’ on’.” Franklin noted, raising an eyebrow at the other man with a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Michael huffed, not surprised Franklin catching him in a lie. “You can read me like a book, huh?”

“You ain’t a good actor man.” Franklin chuckled. “Plus, you don’t have a good reputation in honesty.”

“I suppose not.”

“This ain’t about Trevor is it?”

Michael sighed. “Yeah, it kinda is.” He hoped he could talk about what he needed to with Franklin without revealing too much about what happened nights prior, but it would be tricky.

“Look man, I don’t wanna be part of this shit between you two.”

“Oh don’t worry, I don’t want you to be either.” Michael replied. “I just need some advice.”

“You comin’ to me for advice? What’s the world comin’ to?” Franklin teased.

A chuckle came from Michael. “Clearly the world is goin’ to shit. I think that’s already obvious though.” He paused, downing the rest of his whisky, noticing Franklin was waiting for him to speak up again. He swallowed hard, setting the glass down. His mouth opened, ready to speak, but the words didn’t come out. The words were there, just jumbled up as he was thinking of multiple things that he could start off with, but he couldn’t figure out what to precisely say. His eyes were glued to the bar counter, specifically on his glass which he still hadn’t let go of. Eventually he shut his mouth, closing his eyes to concentrate. After several moments he let out a heavy sigh, looking back down at the counter.

“Trevor raped me.” He didn’t even realized what he spit out until afterwards, his eyes going wide. Those words were the ones repeating in his mind and therefore the first ones to come out. Michael glanced over, realizing Franklin was just in as much shock as he was.

“…W-What?” Franklin asked. He knew what Michael had said, his mind just wasn’t comprehending it.

“I… I probably shouldn’t say it again.” Michael responded. He turned away, swearing softly to himself. “Fuck.”

“T… did – shit man, fuck!” Franklin swore, obviously unclear as to how to respond to such a statement, and looking at Michael, clearly he didn’t know what to say either. “Fuck, man. Why?”

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Michael answered. “Told you Frank, he ain’t a good guy.”

“You ain’t either. We both ain’t technically.”

“Yeah but, I… I don’t mean to be a bad guy.” Michael said defensively, turning slightly towards Franklin. “I don’t go around raping people at least! Or fucking eating people!”

“Does T actually do that shit? Eating people I mean.”

Michael threw his hands up into the air, letting out a sharp huff. “I think so? I don’t know!”

“So, we accusin’ him of doin’ shit that he might not even be doin’?”

Pausing, Michael narrowed his eyes at Franklin. “What? You takin’ his side now? He fucking raped me Franklin!” He shouted while pointing at himself, a little more loudly than he wanted to.

Franklin raised his hands in defense. “I get that dude, but we can’t come to conclusions so quickly. Ain’t that why you two had your spat to begin with?”

Michael shook his head. “I… I just want to strangle the fucking life out of him.” He grumbled, quietly.

“Do you know all the shit I went through to save both your asses? Least you could do is appreciate that and not kill each other, dog.” This time Michael didn’t answer and just sat there in silence, staring out in front of him. Franklin sighed, trying to find the right words in order to help Michael and not to anger him further. “Look, the way I see it… he did somethin’ bad to you, yeah. But you… you did somethin’ just as bad to Trevor, homie. So, I say both you miserable fucks are guilty of doin’ somethin’ terrible to the other.”

“What I did wasn’t-”

“No. It _was_ bad. You gave Trevor – your best fucking friend – up to the Feds, got this Brad dude killed in the process, and nearly got T killed for it too. All for what – so you could live in a big fuckin’ mansion with your whole family despising you while you grumbled and moaned about how good life use to be?”

Michael paused, biting gently on his bottom lip. Franklin was right; fuck he was completely right and yet here he was, sitting here still trying to make out to be the good guy that he wasn’t. He apologized to Trevor for what he did, yet still was reverting to his old self and not feeling the least bit guilty of it – and to top it off – flipped out over what Trevor did to him. Maybe Amanda and everyone else was right – he was never going to change.

“Maybe T did that to you to get back at you for what you did, ‘though raping you seems a bit extreme.”

Michael sighed, sitting up in his seat. “To be honest, it doesn’t surprise me.”

“T raping you doesn’t surprise you?” Franklin inquired, a bit surprised by Michael’s response.

“Yeah, ‘cause…” Michael trailed off, trying to find the right words for a subject he wasn’t even sure he wanted to get into. He brushed a hand over his mouth, feeling his cheeks go red. “Well, we kinda… did things, in the past.”

“What kind of things?"

“You know… things men don’t normally do with other men.”

“Wait, what? What you talkin’ about?” Franklin asked, already fairly uneasy by the topic Michael was possibly getting into.

Michael sighed heavily, looking away. He really didn’t want to share this kind of thing with Franklin – he was already extremely embarrassed about it, considering he consented with Trevor back in the day, simply because he didn’t know any better. Plus it had always been a spur of a moment thing – the rush of robbing just fueled them with adrenaline that they couldn’t find any other way to wear off, that or it was times they were completely wasted. It was a silly excuse for doing sexual things with another man, but Michael couldn’t find any other way to explain it. He sighed again, rubbing his temple before he looked back at Franklin. “Look, I’m gonna be straight with you.” He began, becoming nervous. “W-When… you’re on the run, hiding out literally in the middle of nowhere, it does get… lonely, I guess. And as you probably know, guys have needs and well… me and T… well, we satisfied each other’s needs.”

Franklin raised an eyebrow at the older man. “Sooo… you two, like, fucked?”

“No, NO! Oh God no, no.” Michael shook his head and hands in dismissal. “We didn’t go THAT far, thank God. It was just a few handjobs, blowjobs, ya know? It didn’t mean anything.”

“But for T it obviously meant something, right?”

“Yeah, obviously.” Michael answered, resting his head in his hands. “I always knew Trevor was quite fond of me, in more ways than one. To what extent I don’t know. Trevor’s a real mystery when it comes to his feelings, if you’d believe it.”

“Yeah, I can see that ‘bout him.”

“Fuck. I don’t know what I’m gonna do about this.”

“Clearly.”

Michael frowned, not particularly happy with Franklin’s sarcastic tone. He lifted his head from his hands and glanced over to Franklin. “What do you think I should do?” He asked sincerely.

“Why you asking me? You should be talkin’ to Trevor ‘bout it.”

“And say what? ‘I hate you for raping me but I always loved it when you sucked my cock’?”

“Oh, so you liked it?”

“Ah, Jesus…” Michael looked away, realizing he should learn to keep his mouth shut sometimes.

“Look man, I honestly don’t think this got to do wit’ what you two did in the past.” Franklin explained. “I think it’s got to do with Trevor himself, somethin’ he’s like… thinkin’ about or needs to get off his chest. You need to talk to him, man.” Michael opened his mouth to say something but Franklin cut him off. “And no, I’m not gonna be there to play couples therapist for you two.”

Chuckling, Michael looked away. “Figured that.” He paused, eventually reaching for his wallet and paying for his drinks as well as Franklin’s. “Alright. I’ll talk to him tonight. At least try to.” He said as he slipped off his bar stool, walking a short distance before turning around and nudging Franklin with his hand. “Hey, thanks for listenin’ kid. I appreciate it.”

“No problem, dog.”

“And you know what I’ll do if you say any of this to anyone who doesn’t know, right?” Michael said with a weak grin, narrowing his eyes at Franklin, who was completely unfazed by his threat.

“And you know what I’ll do if I find out you two slaughtered each other?” Franklin smiled when Michael’s expression deepened, clearly wanting him to take him seriously. “No but seriously, I got you, dog.”

“Alright.” Michael answered, patting Franklin on the shoulder before turning to leave. He wasn’t sure if his conversation with Franklin helped or not, or just informed him about the nasty homo shit he and Trevor did back in the day. At least Franklin didn’t back away in disgust and run off – Michael was thankful for that.

Still, what would he even say to Trevor? How would he confront him about the situation? The only thing he could think of was calling Trevor and telling him he was on his way to butcher him.

 

\------

 

Michael ended up not calling Trevor that night and pushed it off for the next day, and then the next, and the next. A week maybe had gone by since, he wasn’t sure. Each day he had plopped himself in front of the television or outside on one of the loungers to either cook in the San Andreas sun or turn into a pile of brainwashed goo on the couch. Amanda instantly took notice, realizing that he had turned into the depressing slob that he was before, yet there was still something off that she obviously couldn’t figure out.

“What’s your problem?” Amanda asked calmly, eyeing her husband who sat slouched on the couch staring at the television. Growling when she realized Michael wasn’t paying attention to her, she walked over to him, swiped the remote from his hand and tossed it to the side where it hit the wall with a loud crack and fell to the floor. “Pay attention to me asshole!”

“What?!” Michael snapped, glaring up at Amanda in front of him.

“This! This is what!” Amanda answered, motioning down at him.

Michael paused, narrowing is eyes in confusion. “What about it? You’ve never had a problem with me being a lazy ass on the couch in front of the TV before. What is it?!”

Amanda sighed. “Yeah, you’re the fat, depressing, good-for-nothing husband that I wanted back, but I can tell there’s something nagging at your mind, _Townley_.”

Michael narrowed his eyes further at his wife, caught off-guard by her saying his real last name. Plus the way she said it – exactly the sarcastic, spiteful way Trevor would say it. It made his heart skip a beat. “No, all I have is my wife standing in front of me here nagging at me right now.”

“Is it about Trevor?”

Caught off-guard yet again by Amanda’s assumption, Michael froze. He wasn’t sure how to answer. Either say ‘yes’ and have her become furious over the fact that he slept with Trevor and all the other shit they did together back in the day or say ‘no’ and have her figure it out anyways and become even more furious.

“You better not be doing shit again that puts our lives in jeopardy.”

“I’m not.”

“Then was is it Michael?”

“Look…” Michael began, holding up a hand as if it would ease the tension between them. “It is about Trevor, but I’m handling it.”

“This is handling it?” Amanda answered, motioning again towards him sitting on the couch with an empty bag of pretzels and two beer bottles next to him, more scattered on a table nearby along with balled up food wrappers from Cluckin’ Bell. When Michael looked back at her with a confused look she groaned and turned, walking towards the kitchen completely fed up.

“I love you too Honey!” Michael called after her, his lips forming a small frown when she didn’t answer back. “Christ…” He grunted as he sat back on the couch, slumping down. It wasn’t like he was avoiding the problem, he just didn’t know how to deal with it. He glanced around, looking at the TV which was playing some old western, then looking at the empty beer bottles and snacks sprawled out around him, then glanced outside through a nearby window. Okay, maybe he was avoiding the problem, but he figured Trevor would get around to calling him, possibly teasing him about that night or about something else.

There was nothing – not a single peep from Trevor Philips. That didn’t shock him entirely either. Maybe Trevor was actually feeling guilty about it or was waiting for him to take some kind of bait so he could reel him in and do something else to him. Michael wasn’t sure, but obviously sitting there wasn’t helping. He kept repeating Franklin’s words to him over and over in his head.

_“You need to talk to him, man.”_

“Yeah, easy for you to say Frank.” Michael negatively replied to his own thoughts, taking a sip from one of the beers beside him. “You don’t have to ask a maniac killer why he raped you.”

“What was that Michael?”

Michael nearly choked on his beer when he heard Amanda’s voice from behind him. He twisted around as he coughed to clear his throat, seeing Amanda standing in the archway between the living room and the entryway, purse in hand, about to leave. “What?” He asked.

“Who raped _WHO_?” Amanda questioned angrily, looking like she was nearly about to charge him and beat him to a pulp.

“Ah I… I was… ah just commenting about somethin’ on the TV here.” Michael smiled weakly, seeing Amanda begin to calm down. “Politics ya know. Bunch of hypocrites and liars.”

Amanda smiled back. “And that makes you a perfect candidate for president sweetheart.” She said before turning away, heading out the front door.

Michael let out a sarcastic laugh at her as she left, turning back towards the TV – which thankfully had some political commercial playing – before heaving a sigh of relief, literally hanging his head between his knees. He brought his hands to his face, rubbing every ounce of frustration, annoyance, and tiredness from it. This was beginning to be too much to handle, his sanity taking most of the beating. He eyed his phone sitting on the square coffee table in front of him, trying to convince himself that it won’t blow up in his hand if he grabbed it. As he stared at the device, the screen lit up, the familiar chime going off as his phone rang. Blinking, he grabbed his phone, narrowing his eyes in disbelief when he saw who it was.

“Woah…” He exclaimed quietly, reading and re-reading the name ‘Trevor’ over and over again. _How many fucking beers did I have today?_ He thought to himself, hoping his mind was playing tricks with him. But it wasn’t and his phone was ringing for him impatiently, coaxing him to pick up.

“Hello?” Michael answered after some hesitation. The other side of the line was silent, save for someone breathing softly. “Uh… hello?” He questioned again, growing impatient.

“Hello.” A voice finally came through, sounding rather friendly and up-beat.

The man sounded like he had some kind of speech impediment, that or some other problem that Michael couldn’t identify. Whoever it was sounded vaguely familiar to him, but he couldn’t figure out where he had possibly heard it before. Michael ended up hesitating again, unsure as to what to say to this random person he was speaking to who had Trevor’s phone. “Um… Who’s this?”

“Wade.” The person simple answered, still in a friendly tone as if he didn’t realize that the conversation was supposed to be awkward considering they didn’t know each other.

“Okay?” Michael replied fairly confused.

“Oh! I’m Trevor’s friend!” Wade said happily.

Now he recognized who he was speaking to – the other weird friend Trevor had, the kid with the piercings all over his face and dreadlocks. He had met Ron out at his trailer when he was stuck out there and vaguely remembered meeting another at the condo Trevor was staying at. Michael briefly questioned in his mind why Trevor no longer was staying there and what had happened to the man living there, but he quickly shoved that thought aside. “Alright… So, where’s T?”

“Oh, he’s here.”

Michael paused, a frown forming on his face. Now he really was losing his patience. “Can I talk to him?”

“Well…” Wade trailed off. Michael could hear someone mumbling in the background and he assumed it was Trevor. “He’s really REALLY messed up. I don’t think I ever seen him this messed up. Wait… T, when was the last time I saw you this messed up?” Wade’s voice became muffled at the end, obviously no longer talking in the phone and rather to Trevor.

Michael heard Trevor – now coming through a little more clearly over the phone – telling Wade to shut up. His frowned deepened, wondering what the hell was going on and how it involved him. “That’s no surprise. Trevor’s always messed up and always has been, in more ways than one.”

“But he’s not always pukin’ and cryin’.” Wade mentioned. “And he don’t fall down all the time annddd… he don’t always talk funny and-”

Suddenly he heard Trevor shouting at Wade, telling him again to shut up and to tell Michael about something. That something Michael couldn’t decipher as Trevor began to mumble and it sounded like he was just throwing random words around as his sentences were hardly making any sense. He raised an eyebrow, now actually becoming a bit more interested. Trevor did actually sound really screwed up and that was a tad bit unusual for him. Usually his psycho buddy’s body was able to adapt and tolerate even the most powerful and debilitating of drugs and he’d still be coherent. “I’m guessing he wanted you to call me to come over to take care of him, huh?”

“Oh!” Wade sounded surprised, like he had completely forgotten he was talking with Michael because Trevor was constantly shouting at him. “Yeah, that’s about right.”

“Where are you?”

“We’re here at the strip club.”

“Okay.”

“I would take care of him but,” Wade paused, yelping softly after a resounding thud, most likely from Trevor hitting the floor, something else, or Wade himself. “I kinda didn’t do a good job one time and Trevor got mad and I had an accident with a stick, like his hockey coach!”

Michael wondered what Wade meant, yet at the same time he didn’t want to know. “Alright. I’m on my way. Make sure he doesn’t go anywhere.”

 

\------

 

The familiar perfume scent of the strip club filled Michael’s nose as he walked into it. The usual sensual music was blaring through the speakers and men surrounded the bar as well as the strippers roaming the floor. As usual one of the girls greeted him asking if he wanted a dance, which he politely declined, even though he wouldn’t mind having one despite him and Amanda making amends. He immediately headed towards the back of the building, opening the door leading to the back office. There he found Trevor slumped across the couch with Wade standing next to him. Trevor instantly acknowledged his presence, raising a hand to wave to him.

“Heyyy, it’s King Mikeyyy!” Trevor yelled rather loudly before slipping off the couch and falling face first to the floor with a thud.

Michael just stood there, not happy nor amused with the situation. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to babysit him. This man – also known as his best friend – not only freaked him the fuck out but also raped him a week or so prior and now he was going to help take care of him? If anything, he was just there because he wanted to know just how fucked up Trevor actually was.

Trevor rolled around on the floor, eventually lying on his back. “Sooo glad you’re here to give me my birthday cake.” He said with a smile, looking up at Michael.

“What?” Michael raised an eyebrow.

“No no! I will go and put lotion on the boat.” Trevor slurred loudly as he rolled to his stomach and lifted himself up. Suddenly he collapsed back onto his stomach, his face against the carpet, mumbling something incoherently.

_Okay, he is really fucked up._ Michael thought to himself, staring down at Trevor who was now not moving. He looked up at Wade, who had his head quirked in confusion as he looked down at Trevor. “What the fuck happened to him?” He asked, the younger man’s attention going to him.

“I dunno.” Wade answered. “He said somethin’ ‘bout gettin’ kidnapped by the cotton ball fairies and being forced to eat erasers filled with cupcakes, or somethin’ or other. He wasn’t pukin’ up no erasers or cupcakes though.”

Michael felt his jaw gap a little, not in shock, but rather he was amazed that Trevor had been conscious this entire time despite whatever he took to make him this… interesting. Plus, Trevor was in pretty decent shape for being high for who knows how long. No blood stains, dirt, cuts, or bruises aside from the usual ones – it actually made him a bit suspicious. He shook his head and sighed in annoyance as he bent down, wrapping his arms around the man’s slimmer frame to hoist him up, Wade helping him as he did so. As soon as the two of them touched him, Trevor suddenly seemed to spring to life, jolting in their grasp.

“Take me to your leaders, oh wise ones!” Trevor wooed playfully as Michael and Wade part carried part dragged him over to the couch to sit him back down.

Once Trevor was seated Michael stood in front of him, slightly leaning over so he wasn’t towering over him, supporting himself by resting his hand on the armrest. “T…” He began, trying his best to sound completely sincere. “…tell me, what did you take? Or how much of what did you take? I need to know if I need to take you to the hospital or not.” He watched Trevor pause, protruding his lips to the side in a bit of a comedic way as he thought to himself. He eventually motioned with his index finger, coaxing him to come closer, but he did not move, so instead Trevor just ended up leaning towards him.

“I think those jellybeans that pig gave me were spiked.” Trevor whispered looking Michael dead in the eye, looking and sounding completely serious. He leaned back, looking away and thought briefly to himself again. “Or maybe it was that Oompa Loompa I ate.”

Chuckling softly, Michael leaned back, straightening himself out. “Wow. Okay. You are officially in La La Land, T.”

“Been thereee done that. Not exciting.” Trevor responded immediately with a mild slur, holding his hands up in a defensive posture. “But you know what is exciting?”

“What T?” Michael asked in amusement, now just coaxing Trevor on to hear more of his intoxicated ramblings.

“Magic School Bus!” Trevor answered cheerfully, raising his arms in the air like an excited child.

“Oh, I loved that show.” Wade spoke up from beside the two men.

“Fucking Christ…” Michael swore to himself, rubbing his forehead. _Why me?_ He questioned in his head, looking back at Trevor who now was sitting silently, staring out in front of him with a blank stare. Clearly whatever it was that was in his system was still affecting him, but he could tell that Trevor was crashing. That meant the man wouldn’t be conscious for long and he wouldn’t have to deal with him that much. He didn’t want to stay there at the strip club though or bother Franklin with all this nonsense either, so the only other option was to bring him home with him, which Amanda wouldn’t happy with. With the condition he was in though, Trevor wasn’t much of a threat. If anything, he’d be fairly entertaining. “Alright. Come on, T.” Michael ordered, motioning to Trevor to get up. “Let’s go.”

Trevor looked up at Michael, looking fairly confused. “Where we goin’?” He asked as the other man grabbed his arm, draped it over his shoulders, and hoisted him up from the couch. “You!” Trevor suddenly pointed at Wade, startling the younger man.

“Yes T?” Wade asked, obedient as always.

Still pointing at him, Trevor fell silent again, either not able to answer or he didn’t know what to say – or maybe just forgot he was talking to Wade all together. Trevor simply stared and pointed at Wade, who was now looking at Michael in confusion, wondering what Trevor wanted.

Michael rolled his eyes. “Go back to whatever you were doing.”

“Okay. These girls are really nice!” Wade said before waltzing back into the strip club.

When Wade was gone, Michael’s attention went back to the man in his arms, who was still pointing and staring where Wade was standing previously. “Where do you want to go Trevor?”

Trevor snapped his head over to focus on Michael next to him, looking at him with a very fixated expression. “Take me to Santa Land. I’m owed a lap dance from the man himself.” Trevor answered. He stumbled as Michael walked him out, who was holding onto him so he wouldn’t collapse.

“Fine by me.”

“Areee there gonna be llamas wearing skirts there? I wannaaa see them spit pinecones at the nudists.”

Michael bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to burst out laughing. Instead he gave a light chuckle. “Of course. Of course there will, T.”

 

\------

 

Halfway to his house, Michael changed his mind, driving to a motel near Rockford Plaza with Trevor instead. Amanda would kill him if he brought Trevor to the house, even if he was too screwed up to do anything. Plus, this way he wouldn’t have to worry about any outside distractions while he took care of Trevor – or murder him, which was on his mind too. A little extra something for Trevor would do the trick, it would be the perfect crime. No one would guess that someone else was involved. The police would just assume it was an overdose.

_What the fuck am I thinking?_ Michael thought to himself as he walked back to his car after obtaining a room. This was Trevor, the most psychotic and deranged person he knew, yet he was still his best friend. He thought about what Franklin had said to him before. Trevor did something horrible to him, but he did something just as equally horrible to Trevor. They had been together for years and had Trevor ever done anything to him during that time? Never. Trevor never touched him. Sure they had argued, threatened, and fought with each other a lot, due to testosterone, his own ego and Trevor’s craziness, but Trevor had never done or said anything to purposely hurt him. He, on the other hand, set up Trevor and Brad, which left one of them dead and one on the run to deal with the loss of his best friends. Not only that, but when Amanda entered his life and got pregnant twice, he slowly stopped hanging around Trevor, who would always want to hang out or do _something_ with him. Michael had shoved him to the side and didn’t give a damn about how Trevor felt about it. He had shut him out, which was more damaging than any punch to the face or bullet in the chest was.

Michael sighed when he got back to the car, getting inside. He didn’t even look over at Trevor and just started the car, driving through the parking lot and parking close to their room. He was in for a long night, he knew. At least Trevor was high out of his mind for the moment – the worst of it would come when the other man sobered up. When he switched off the engine, he glanced over to Trevor who was sitting in the passenger seat, his face in a trash can he had taken from the strip club. He had made it very clear to Trevor that if he didn’t puke in the can and made a mess in his car, he would throw him into a meat grinder and not surprisingly Trevor believed him. The man never puked, but Michael knew it was only a matter of time and it probably was going to happen at the most inconvenient moment possible. He got out, going around his car to the other side, opening the door for Trevor.

“Come on, T.” Michael said, unbuckling Trevor’s seat belt and helping him out of the car, the trash can that was on his lap falling to the pavement.

Trevor appeared to be dazed, his eyes half-lidded and his jaw partially slacked. “I swear I was in Narnia for a while there.” He mentioned, his voice almost a whisper.

“I hope you didn’t molest that goat guy while you were there.” Michael responded, tossing the trash can into the car before shutting the door and locking it.

“I don’t think so. But I met this small lizard who wanted to help me save on car insurance… or tar insurance or bar, larrr, fu far in… in… endurance.”

Michael began to cackle. He had tried not to laugh at Trevor, but after five minutes in the car with him and listening to his intoxicated ramblings nearly the entire time, he just couldn’t contain it. Everything coming out of the other man’s mouth was just too amusing. “That sucks. Too bad you didn’t get that hot chick from the other insurance commercial.”

“I know right?! Nooottt even a single carved pumpkin or ass crack! It’s the Fourth of July you ffff… fffAH FUCKS!” Trevor responded loudly.

Taking a moment to calm himself after laughing again, Michael eventually spoke up as he led Trevor into the room. “Jesus T. Not that I want to live in your world, but I wouldn’t mind spending five minutes in it.”

“You couldn’t handle my world buddy.” Trevor answered with a playful smirk, staggering into their room.

“That’s probably true.” Michael said as he shut the door. He noticed Trevor looking around, as if he was searching for something. “What’s up?”

“Where the fuck is our Christmas tree?” Trevor asked, looking back at Michael. “Fuck! Someone robbed us!” He growled.

Michael bit his bottom lip, almost about to laugh. Then he saw the distinctive sign of someone about to vomit: Trevor bringing his hand up to cover his mouth and his whole body lurching. Instantly Michael stepped towards him, grabbing his arm and hauling him to the bathroom. He got him there just in time, Trevor falling to his knees and puking into the toilet. Michael heaved a sigh of relief, only for that relief to be short lived when he looked down and realized that not everything had gone into the toilet. “Son of a bitch.” He hissed, stepping around Trevor and kicking his now vomit-stained shoes off. “You owe me a new pair of Berginstocks you dick.” The other man didn’t reply, his head still in the toilet.

As Michael stood and watched Trevor, he noticed his body shake slightly, his shoulders jerking upwards a few times, most likely crying. He seemed so vulnerable the way he was. Anyone looking at him now would just see a guy who had too much to drink while having a mid-life crises, rather than a crazy psychopath who possibly tried to comatose himself. It reminded him of himself, all the nights he cried himself to sleep, resting his head on his own toilet at home after having too much to drink the day prior, or complained about anything he could. It happened to him because he missed his old life and his new life wasn’t panning out the way he wanted. Trevor on the other hand, was a different story. He knew he took a massive amount of drugs because of what he did to him. He was upset and this was his way of punishing himself and coping with it. Michael numbed his pain with alcohol, Trevor numbed his pain with drugs; they weren’t really that different in that retrospect. Fuck, if he felt any pity for Trevor, he felt it now.

Michael decided it was best to just leave Trevor alone for now rather than sit there and watch him vomit. Instead he gathered a few pillows and blankets and brought them to the bathroom and laid them on the floor – after cleaning up the mess Trevor had made – and made a small spot for Trevor to lie down on. It’s something both of them had done in the past after drinking too much – just make a little bed in the bathroom and camp out in there. It beat running to the bathroom every fifteen minutes to puke. He briefly watched Trevor, before he spoke up. “I’m gonna be out here if you need me.” He said, turning to leave, not expecting any answer from Trevor. He wandered over to the bed, setting himself down on it after grabbing the TV remote. He turned on the TV, flipping through the channels. “One hundred channels and still nothin’ to watch.” Grumbling to himself, he laid himself out across the bed, placing an arm behind his head.

Not long after they had arrived, Michael could feel his fatigue hit him in the face, most likely due to his normal routine of not being able to sleep now-a-days. The moment he laid down and settled in he just felt extremely tired. His eyes would occasionally close on him and he’d have to spring them open again, trying to keep himself awake. That or the sound of Trevor puking or randomly sobbing in the bathroom would startle him awake. He felt like he should be doing something or keeping Trevor company, but honestly what could he do? Wipe his mouth or pat him on the back like he was a little kid? It reminded him of when he went out to the other man’s trailer, finding Trevor crying his eyes out and curled into the fetal position on the floor, eventually throwing him onto his bed and waiting outside for him to calm down. He never found out what had happened that day, other than Trevor’s mother’s supposed visit had something to do with it. This time though, it was because of him. At least he had a portion of his kind nature left to stick around, unlike the Satan-spawn also known as Mrs. Philips. Michael wondered if she made her way into the city after her disappearing act at Trevor’s trailer, a thought that made him shutter in terror. It was one thing to have Trevor waltz into his house that day after nine years, to have that maniac’s mother step through his front door and give him a giant hug against her protruding bosom like she did the first time he met her frightened him beyond all hell.

The ringtone on his phone pulled him away from his thoughts, hauling it out of his back pocket. He swallowed upon seeing Amanda’s name and photo, realizing he never told her where he was and where he probably will be the rest of the night.

“Hey Amanda.” Michael answered, sitting up. “What’s up?”

“And where might you be?”

“I-”

Michael wasn’t able to finish before Amanda cut him off. “You didn’t forget about our dinner reservations tonight did you?”

_Oh fuck_. “I um… n-no I didn’t.” Michael stuttered, swearing at himself in his head. “I… I just lost track of time.”

“You sound real convincing Michael.” Amanda responded, skepticism in her tone.

Michael let out an audible sigh, rubbing his forehead. “Alright, I did forget and I’m sorry, but…” He paused, glancing over to the bathroom where Trevor was, instantly feeling guilt the moment he thought about leaving Trevor there by himself to go meet up with Amanda. “I gotta… Hey look, Tracey’s there right? Why don’t you two go out and have a nice dinner and I’ll take you out this weekend, okay?”

There was a long pause on Amanda’s end, no doubt confused with his offer. “You’re asking me to take our daughter on what’s supposed to be a romantic dinner?”

“I said nice, not romantic. Just because it’s a fancy restaurant it doesn’t mean it’s automatically romantic.”

“And what are you so wrapped up in that you’re too busy to take me out to dinner like we planned?”

“Well…” Michael began, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You better not be wrapped up in the sheets with a hooker.”

“What? No!” Michael defensively snapped back at her, not surprised she would made that accusation. “I’m making sure Trevor doesn’t choke on his own vomit.”

“…Excuse me?”

“It’s kind of… look, I’m probably not going to be home tonight, so I’ll call you tomorrow morning, okay?”

“What. Are. You. DOING?!” Amanda nearly shouted over the phone, clearly getting pissed off with the way Michael was being evasive with his answers.

Michael cringed slightly from his wife’s deafening voice coming through the speaker, moving his phone away from his ear. “Okay… okay.” He sighed, defeated. “Trevor’s pal called me right after you left and said Trevor needed to be looked after ‘cause he is fucked up. And yeah, he is _completely_ fucked up. So, I’m just trying to be the best friend that I’ve failed to be for him and I’m taking care of him.” He explained, pausing for a moment before speaking up again. “Happy?”

“You’re actually doing something about your problems for a change!” Amanda said in praise and a bit of sarcasm. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“Just don’t bring him to the house Michael. I don’t want to clean up hungover Trevor mess, or any kind of Trevor mess for that matter. I still have nightmares from that one Christmas where he drank too much Eggnog and Vodka, _mixed_ together.”

A soft snicker escaped Michael, despite his attempt to stop it. “I remember that. That was a fun Christmas, watchin’ T dance around with garland wrapped around his naked body. But seriously, you don’t even clean. Isn’t that why we have a maid?”

“Shut up Michael.”

Michael chuckled, hearing Amanda growl softly on her end. “Just making a point Sweetheart.”

“You’re the one who hired her, and Carlos, and bought the mansion, and the person who brought us all out here to Los Santos, and the one who sits on his ass watching TV or lays on the patio all day, and you’re calling me lazy?”

“I’m not calling you anything! I just… ugh, I thought moving out here would be… c’mon we’ve had this conversation a number of times already Amanda.”

“No shit. Anyways, just keep Trevor away from the house. And if you’re lying and actually in bed with a stripper, feel free to bring her back here so I can drown her in the pool and run you over with my car.”

A smirk stretched across Michael’s face. “Amanda, you’re too scared to even kill a spider, what makes you think you can kill a person? I mean, you might be able to pull it off but it’ll probably be a really sloppy murder since you’re an amateur, unlike me.”

“Goodbye Michael.”

The line went dead and Michael laughed quietly to himself, setting his phone on the nightstand. He watched the TV briefly before grabbing his phone again, texting Amanda for her and Tracey to have fun before setting it back on the nightstand. He laid back against the pillows he had propped up against the headboard, folding his arms behind his head. Exhaling a long breath, he closed his eyes again, thinking about taking a nap. He could feel himself drifting off when he heard Trevor calling for him. He groaned as he got out of bed and wandered over to the bathroom, seeing the other man now resting on the makeshift bed he had made for him.

“Can you tell me a bedtime story?” Trevor immediately asked when Michael arrived, almost in a shy and innocent tone that didn’t seem possible for someone as psychotic and deranged as him.

“What? No.” Michael answered, his irritated expression immediately softening upon seeing the rejection in Trevor’s eyes. “Oh for God sake.” He groaned softly, looking away in annoyance.

“Please, Mikey?”

Michael sighed. “Fine. Once upon a time there was a prince who was supposed to become king but then he got killed. The End.” He saw Trevor frown sadly, almost looking like he was about to break down crying from his awful and sad excuse for a story. Letting out a loud, agitated grunt, Michael stepped over the other man lying on the floor and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. “Alright, fine. I’ll tell you a story.”

“A better one?”

“Yeah, a better one.” Michael paused, scratching his chin before starting. “This story is about… um…” He paused again, not sure as to what kind of story to share and also not sure as to why he was even doing it in the first place. He didn’t even have one in his mind when he started talking. He hoped it would just come to him as he went but he drew a blank. Princes and Princesses? No, Trevor wouldn’t be interested in that, unless he was the princess, thinking back to a morning years ago when he found Trevor passed out wearing a tiara and a frilly pink dress two sizes too small wrapped around his waist while he himself was wearing nothing but jeans and a cowboy hat and boots – he still never remembered how that came to be. Cops and Robbers? Maybe, but he might end up just making fun of Trevor’s botched attempts at robbing places – including his infamous checks-cash job – and be greeted with a fist to the face.

“About two pals.” Trevor eventually spoke up, a genuine smile on his face.

After Trevor had said that, Michael knew instantly which direction he wanted him to go with the story. He smirked, a slight chuckle escaping him. “Okay, it’s about two pals. Two pals who were completely inseparable after they met, when one got chased by this old guy and the other nearly blew off his guy’s head with a flare gun.” He paused, glancing down at Trevor who now had his eyes closed. A small smile formed on the man’s face, possibly reliving the moment he shot the guy in the eye with his flare gun when they were kids. Michael continued. “Anyways, these two kids, went around robbin’ everybody – liquor stores, convenient stores, cash depots – anywhere they could find easy money to get. Then they would always go out and get themselves wasted somewhere or find some tires to slash or some booty to grope; basically up to no good.” Trevor at that moment coughed or snorted humorously, Michael couldn’t tell.

“Despite the dangers and hazards that came with pulling jobs, these two guys always had each other’s backs. They protected one another and cared for each other.” Michael stopped briefly, blinking upon realizing what he just said. Cared? Yes, he cared about him, even if Trevor didn’t see it. He thought that now was probably a good time to prove to Trevor how much he did care about him. “Hell, even though they were supposed to lie low after pulling a score, they’d go out, to a cheap little fair or carnival – despite the protest from one of them who always thought they should skip town after robbin’ a place. They’d play the carnival games, in which one time one of them won a giant stuffed teddy bear simply because he pointed the BB gun at the staff member and scared him shitless. And he nicknamed that bear ‘Tubs’ after his best pal because his pal was a fat turd.” Michael noticed Trevor chuckle again and he did too. “They’d buy themselves sodas and dump them on unsuspecting people or swipe some kid’s popcorn. And on one occasion got themselves kicked out after Tubs’ anger got the best of him and he punched some dad of this whiny kid in the face. And he fucking deserved it.” Michael muttered the last bit to himself. “Other times they’d just go into town to catch a movie or go out to eat with the little money they had. With all the shit they did together, most people would have probably figured that we were… I-I mean they were dating.” He paused, thankful that Trevor didn’t seem to catch his slip up or just wasn’t reacting to it.

“But the place they lived, man. It sucked. It was always cold and almost always snowing. During the cold winter nights they’d always have to huddle together with only one blanket to wrap themselves with because they had to hide out in a dinky little cabin in the middle of the woods or at some crummy motel with a broken heater. And on particularly cold nights, one of them would always grab the other’s hands and rub them to warm them up ‘cause the other one couldn’t afford a pair a gloves and even when he could he was too stubborn to wear them. He was always too stubborn to take a shower every day too.” Trevor’s smile faded into a frown, pouting slightly. Michael wanted to laugh, but didn’t. “Those were the nights they’d share their inner most secrets. Well, most of them at least. They’d talk about their shitty childhood and how they fucked up at succeeding at what they were best at, for one it was football and the other it was being a pilot. Even though one was a complete maniac who killed hitchhikers and ate them and the other was… well, a lying, self-centered hot-head, they found out they still had a lot in common and that’s probably why they got along so well.”

Again Michael paused, staring out in front of him. A whole wave of emotions overtook him then. He felt sad yet happy at the same time. He was literally reliving the past in his head as he spoke, the good times that both Trevor and he shared, yet felt sad that those moments were never coming back and all they were going to be was a distant memory. His feelings now and from then were beginning to show, his mouth letting it all slip without him realizing it. “And that’s also probably why they had some feelings for each other. They both realized that they found someone they could confide in, relate to, and even love.” He was beginning to realize it too. All those memories of Trevor telling him that he loved him – while he was drunk or not, wrapping his arms around him so that he’d stay close to him, or times Trevor held his hand in his – at least attempted to, they all started flooding into Michael’s mind and he realized that he had wanted it too, even if he spend the last nine years denying it and pushing Trevor away. Trevor had been and possibly still was in love with him and as much as he hated to admit it, Michael knew there was some feelings he had for Trevor too. Why else would he allow himself to be touched by Trevor or let the guy suck on his dick? It wasn’t just because it felt good, he’d actually liked it best when Trevor did it. Even when Amanda was in his life, if he wanted some close companionship, someone he could be himself with, he went to Trevor. Trevor was everything to him and he was everything to Trevor. Unfortunately, it took him over twenty years to finally figure it out.

Michael glanced down at the man on the floor. “T?” He questioned, nudging Trevor gently with his foot to see if he would stir. He realized Trevor was fast asleep, a slight comfortable smile on his face, and he couldn’t help but smile too. “Then Michael fucked everything up when he had kids with a stripper he thought was hot and tried to shove Trevor out of his life.” His smile slowly faded, guilt suddenly hitting him as he hung his head. “Even so, Trevor wasn’t going to let a wife and kids get in the way of being with his best friend, because he didn’t want to lose him like he lost everyone else he loved in his life.” He paused to let out a sigh. “It’s no wonder you clung so helplessly to me, T.” He said, eyeing Trevor again, the gut-wrenching guilt getting the better of him as tears formed in his eyes. “Fuck, I’m an idiot.” He brought a hand up to wipe his eyes as he stood from the edge of the bath tub, stepping over Trevor once again. He knelt down, taking an extra blanket and covering Trevor up. As much as he wanted to stay there and hold the man in his arms, Michael forced himself to leave, heading back to bed. He couldn’t stand looking at his friend anymore, not because he was hideous or anything like that, but because it just made him feel guiltier. It made him wonder about something else too.

_I wonder if he became even more of a fucked up psycho because of what I did._ He tried not to think about it, but Michael could no longer deny that it was his doing that broke their unbreakable bonds apart and he had to be the one to fix it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thoroughly enjoyed writing this chapter, even though it's kind of uneventful.
> 
> Sorry I don't know much about the effects of multiple drugs has on a person, other than killing them. So I took some liberties with the part where Trevor's inebriated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I would have had this chapter up sooner but I thought I would be done with chapters 5 and 6 by now, but of course, I'm not. Haha. I'm nearly done though, so hopefully I can get those two done inbetween the other stuff I need to be doing.

 

Getting high and fueled up with whatever he could get his hands on was always the best part, it was the swift crashing down from that high that Trevor hated most and this time hit the hardest from most. He hardly could keep his eyes open as he rested his head on the toilet seat with his arms also draped over it, groaning every so often in an attempt to keep himself awake. He didn’t really care where he was at, he knew he was probably in a safe place, that or in jail. The toilet and he had become great friends after the past few hours and he didn’t want to become separated from it.

“Good morning starshine.”

Trevor opened his eyes slightly, just enough to make out the hazy but familiar figure standing in the doorway, leaning against the door frame. This time he knew his brain wasn’t fooling him – Michael was really there.

“The Earth says ‘Hello’!” Michael exclaimed happily with a slight sarcastic smirk on his face.

A groan came from Trevor, who hardly moved save for his eyes closing again. “Fuck off…” His reply came out as a mutter, his body lurching afterwards, the contents of his stomach reacting to any subtle movement, desperate to escape.

“Or in this case your inner bowels say hello.” Michael said, watching Trevor continue to dry heave.

“You’re-” Trevor was interrupted when the contents of his stomach finally came out, vomiting into the toilet. Once finished, he rested his head back on the seat with a string of drool hanging from his lip. He didn’t need to even look at Michael to know that the man still had an amused smirk on his face. “-enjoying this aren’t you?” He finished on an exhale.

“Not really. Although taking care of you is much easier than taking care of a sick kid who doesn’t give you any warning as to when they’re gonna be puking and ends up puking all over your shoulder.”

“That’s the life you chose buddy.” Trevor heard Michael laugh softly. He let out a long breath before attempting to straighten himself out, lifting his head from the toilet seat only to fall against it again, feeling like his skull was as heavy as a boulder. “Fuck, what did I do last night?” He breathed out as he closed his eyes, sounding incredibly exhausted and confused.

“What have you been doing this past week is a better question.” Michael responded.

Trevor paused, thinking to himself. “I remember fucking a dude, except it wasn’t a dude, I don’t think. He had a vagina. A vagina that looked like balls.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“And I remember somethin’ about a goat, although I don’t know exactly what.”

“Well, if you remember it, please, for the love of God, do not share it out loud.”

“OHHhh wait! Now I remember.” Trevor announced loudly, now able to lift his head from the toilet seat, looking over at Michael. “It was something to do with… with what’cha-ma-call-it?” He asked as he shook a finger in the air as he thought. He didn’t pay attention to the expression of utter confusion his friend had on his face.

“T?” Michael spoke up after a brief moment of silence, realizing Trevor probably didn’t know what the hell he was talking about either.

“Yeah?”

An amused smile slowly spread across Michael’s face. “I think you’re still high.” He said softly and nicely.

Trevor flashed him a cracked grin. “I wouldn’t doubt it my friend. Wouldn’t doubt it…”

 

\------

 

It took nearly the entire rest of the day of puking, rolling around on the floor groaning and whining, and a dozen cups of coffee before Trevor had sobered up enough to be coherent and move without feeling the need to empty out his stomach. Now he was laying on the bed in their motel room, arms resting on his forehead. Michael was sitting on the side of the bed next to him, twiddling his thumbs.

“Why are you still here?” Trevor asked, breaking the silence between them. His best friend hummed in response as he glanced back at him, a hint of confusion in the tone of his hum. “You’ve been here the entire fucking day doing nothing. Go home.”

“Doing nothing? I kept you from drowning yourself in the toilet, covering yourself in vomit, and continuously made you coffee for you to chug down and piss out in an attempt to sober up faster.” Michael explained with a slightly agitated tone, hearing Trevor groan again like he had been for the past several hours. “And I listened carefully to make sure you didn’t slip and fall and crack your head open while you were in the shower earlier.”

“I would have been fine without you.”

“FINE!” Michael shot up suddenly, flinging his arms into the air, slightly startling Trevor. “If you don’t fucking want me here then I’ll just fucking go!”

“That’s not what I meant.” Trevor said softly, his hands now covering his eyes.

Michael spun around, his anger apparent on his face. “Then what did you fucking mean, huh?! Even after what you fucking did to me I stayed here the entire fucking day to take care of your sorry hung-over ass and you don’t even fucking appreciate it!” His loud, bellowing voice echoed through the room, strong enough that it even rattled some of the old furniture in the tiny room. “You fucking raped me and I’m kind enough to not strangle you to death and instead stay here and make sure you’re still fucking breathing!” He would have continued raging, but something stopped him. Notably Trevor, who was now sobbing, his hands still covering his eyes yet some tears still escaped and slid down his cheek.

“I-I’m sorry.” Trevor choked out, his whole body trembling.

Michael stood still, watching Trevor. His mouth was slightly open, wanting to say sorry as well but the words wouldn’t come out. While he stared at the other man he realized something that made Franklin’s words smack him right in the face.

_He did something bad to you, but you did something just as bad to him._

Here he was yelling at Trevor about not appreciating the fact that he was there, yet he never appreciated the fact that Trevor had stayed by his side as well and didn’t even try to kill him or his family – even after he had found out he was still alive, after more of his lies, and after discovering the truth about Brad, Trevor still remained in his life and still wanted to be in his life. He was the only person Trevor had left and he was more than willing to let go of the past and forgive him just to stay by his side.

Now he wanted to cry too. Michael shook his head, rubbing his face with his hands before setting himself back onto the edge of the bed. He let out a sigh, one that was obviously full of guilt. “I’m sorry Trevor. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” His voice was low, barely above a whisper. “I just… I-I mean…” He wasn’t good with this kind of thing. He never liked feeling guilt or admitting guilt. It was something that had been torturing himself for the past nine years and something he had tried to rid his mind of through alcohol and therapy. Perhaps it was the reason he used denial so much; it made him feel better about the cruel things that he did to people. But an ignorance is bliss kind of dream world couldn’t replace the harsh reality he brought upon himself. He sighed, his shoulders dropping. “We’re both assholes aren’t we?” Michael tried to joke, but it almost made him feel more awful.

“I said I was s-sorry.” Trevor choked out a little more desperately this time, his sobs growing louder and more frequent.

Michael squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to look back at Trevor, his sobs already piercing his heart. But he had to, he had to face that reality. Trevor had done it every single day since the moment he found him. He had faced the fact that he had lied to him, stabbed him in the back, played with his emotions and feelings. Trevor was strong in that sense, but he was the cowardly weak one who couldn’t deal with past mistakes and figured the best cure was denial and avoidance. He couldn’t do it any more, for his sake and Trevor’s.

Twisting around slowly, Michael glanced down at his best friend, who was now on his side with his back to him, arms folded around his head, covering his face. He had calmed down a little, but was still shaking. Saying any more right now as pointless, Michael figured. He shifted a bit so he could lean down towards Trevor. He wrapped his arms tightly around the other man’s frame, resting his head on Trevor’s. The man below him sobbed when he touched him; his body stopped trembling but he tensed. Comfort was something Michael knew Trevor never got while growing up. Any type of affectionate contact with him was risky and dangerous. A number of times Trevor had thrashed his way out of his grip when he tried to calm him down from having a mental breakdown years ago. But there were other occasions like this, where Trevor would tense up but eventually melt into his arms before hushing him asleep like a toddler – something his mother denied him as a child.

Others could have viewed the scene as silly and pathetic, perhaps even disturbing, but there wasn’t anything pathetic about any of it. It seemed like a world only the two of them lived in and understood. A world that belonged to them and no one else. Michael could understand Trevor’s pain better than anyone else could, partially because he was to blame for quite a bit of it.

“I’m sorry Trevor.” Michael said again, even though he knew it wouldn’t do much. Words were useless, which is why he was willing to put his dignity aside and cuddle his psychotic friend, especially if it prevented the man from ripping him apart limb from limb. A low growl suddenly came from beneath him and he lifted his head from Trevor’s, glancing down at the other man curiously.

“What’s with the sudden tenderness, Mike?” Trevor grumbly muffled voice came from underneath his arms. Eventually he twisted his head slightly, enough to peak one eye out and look at Michael. “I thought you hated me?”

Michael huffed in annoyance, backing off Trevor who rolled onto his back, his eyes on him the entire time. Trevor’s sudden mood change didn’t surprise him at all. He looked away, feeling himself blushing for some strange reason. “I don’t hate you, T.” Looking back at Trevor, he could tell the man didn’t believe him from the expression on his face. “Look, I do care about you, I do. I just have a really ridiculous and pathetic way of showing it, obviously.”

“Obviously.” Trevor muttered.

“Honestly you scare the shit out of me, but… ya know…” Michael paused, his mouth perking into a candid smile. “I don’t think I would like you any other way Trevor.”

Trevor smiled back. “And I don’t think I would like you any other way besides a fat, lying turd drowning himself in denial and narcissism.”

Michael raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying I love myself? I hate myself with a passion.”

“Annndddd there’s the denial.” Trevor announced, sitting up as he did so. “Jesus Mike, didn’t you learn anything from our little adventure these past few months?”

Sliding off the bed and getting to his feet, Michael let out a slight chuckle. “I learned that life will come full circle when you screw everyone over and let yourself believe that your shallow existence is a good excuse to throw everything you love away for a world that doesn’t even exist.”

“Damn, I gotta meet this therapist of yours.” Trevor mentioned, swinging his legs over the side of the bed so he could sit on the edge.

“Ah… h-he’s outta town.” Michael responded, thinking of his fatal encounter with his therapist a few weeks ago that left the doctor dead in his high-end vehicle. Trevor gave him an odd look but later shrugged his shoulders. An odd silence descended upon them, neither knowing what to say next. But if either of them needed to say something, it was Michael. “I… I just want you to know that I care about you, T.” He said softly, causing Trevor to look up at him with an expression on his face that he couldn’t tell if it was disbelief or sadness.

“Ya know, you kind of blew it when you originally stabbed me in the back.”

“I know… I know I did.” Michael sighed. “And I want to make it up to you, T. I’ve had to ask for a lot of second chances, from a lot of people. My wife, my kids – and this was all just recently.”

“And what makes you think I’d be willing to give you a second chance?”

“My heart’s still beating and not being chopped up and served as an appetizer for one. And two, you know that I’m trying to make things better here.”

Trevor raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Is that so?”

“Yeah… I think?” Michael blinked, unsure about the expression Trevor was giving him. “It’s not like you can easily let go of me anyways.”

Silence again. Both men stared at each other, their gazes both locked together. Michael’s eyes were wide and he was biting his bottom lip, obviously realizing the words he just spat out were a likely death sentence. Trevor didn’t move, didn’t blink, didn’t even seem to breathe. He was just staring at him blankly, his eyes only narrowing slightly. Michael swore inside of his head repeatedly while he readied the rest of his body for the impending beating he would receive. He jolted slightly and took a step back without realizing it when Trevor exhaled and shifted, resting his elbows on his thighs. His eyes were still on him, a hint of curiosity in them now.

“What does that mean?” Trevor inquired, not sounding angry at all.

Relief helped Michael calm his nerves, knowing that Trevor wasn’t about to rip his heart out. However, he knew he had to choose his words carefully. Even though Trevor was calm now, he was a bomb that could be triggered by practically anything. “You like me, don’t you?” He finally asked.

Trevor hesitated, honestly not expecting those words to ever be uttered from Michael Townley, but clearly he wasn’t as dense as he thought he was. “What gave you that impression?” He responded, his voice going low and hoarse.

“I may be an asshole, a liar, and a cheat, but I’m not an idiot.”

“Yes, you are an idiot.”

“Those moments we had together years ago meant something to you, I know they did.” Trevor didn’t answer him and looked away almost in a bashful way. Michael sighed and rolled his eyes, holding up his hands. “Look, I don’t wanna know about any sick fantasies you may have about me, keep that shit to yourself. I just want to know… ya know… what it is you want from me.”

“Fine.” Trevor snapped loudly and angrily, which caused Michael to back up slightly. He got to his feet and faced the other man, holding his arms out. “I want you to fuck me.” He bluntly stated. Michael stood before him, a mixture of shock, confusion, and disgust on his face. Trevor swallowed as he stared back at Michael, a voice screaming at the back of his head telling him he shouldn’t have said anything, but he ignored it. There was a brief silence of the both of them staring at each other before Michael spoke up.

“You want me to… _what_?” Michael asked when the initial shock finally wore off.

“You heard me, sugar.” Trevor responded slowly in a low, hoarse, stern voice. “Fuck me.”

Michael blinked, his jaw slacked. “Uhh… T, newsflash-” He began, waving out his hands in a spreading motion in front of Trevor. “-I don’t live in your little world of fucking anything that moves or has a hole.”

“And yet you’ve fucked plenty of whores in worse condition than me.”

Chuckling softly, Michael looked away, brushing his hand over his mouth. Trevor had a point. The only difference was that Trevor was a guy, a guy that he had let suck his dick without much opposition years back. Honestly, how bad could it be to fuck him then? Maybe it was curiosity or maybe even longing for some sexual gratification that came from something other than a prostitute, stripper, his hand, or his wife who didn’t really respond much during the rare moments they had sex, but Michael felt his mind and body urging him to go for it. Trevor writhing underneath him, panting and moaning, crying out his name – Michael honestly wanted to see if he could break him that far and see Trevor succumb to him completely. Even though those kinds of thoughts would have disturbed him in the past, he didn’t try to ignore them now. “Alright.” He finally said, glancing back at Trevor.

“Alright what?”

“I’ll do it.” Michael stated, seeing Trevor’s face brighten up a little in surprise. “JUST as long as you say _nothing_ to Amanda or anyone else about this, got it?”

“You got it porkchop.”

“And I get full control.”

“Of course.” Trevor said sincerely, holding out his arms. “Let’s do this!” He clapped his hands together with energetic grin and turned towards the bed.

“You got a condom?”

Trevor paused mid-turn, looking over his shoulder at Michael with a look of confusion on his face. “What? Does it look like I carry that shit on me?”

“I’m not doing this with you without a condom.”

“What, are you worried about diseases or something?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“I don’t have jack shit, okay? I’m actually careful, unlike you, crab-boy.” Trevor paused, grinning humorously when Michael glared at him angrily.

“How the fuck do you know about that?”

“Frankie told me.” Trevor answered, causing Michael to look away with a scowl and a deep blush on his cheeks. “Can’t you just trust your buddy?”

Michael snorted, glancing back at his friend. “I know your sexual habits, T. I doubt you’re clean.”

“Well I am. If I wasn’t, you would have something coming up by now, now wouldn’t you?” Trevor quirked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow.

Michael paused looking to the side, realizing Trevor was right. They just had sex and if Trevor did have something, he would have defiantly noticed it by now. But, considering his buddy has been high out of his mind for the past week or so, who knows what kind of shit he’s stuck his dick into. “Well, I still want to wear one.”

“Fine. FINE!” Trevor twirled around, heading to the room’s door. “Wait right here.” He said before exiting the room.

Michael stood there baffled, wondering where the hell Trevor was going. He debated whether or not he should just go himself to get something, but before he could come to a decision he heard knocking at the door. He headed over, opening the door and seeing Trevor standing there, shoving a little plastic package into his face. Michael plucked the condom from Trevor’s hand as he passed by, heading towards the bed. “Where… how the fuck did you get this? You were gone not even three minutes.”

“It’s a sleazy motel, Mikey.” Trevor explained. “There’s always some dude with a prostitute that he picked up staying at a motel and there’s always condoms somewhere in that mix.”

Sighing, Michael glanced down at the condom in his hand, feeling sorry for whatever guy that was about to have unprotected sex with a prostitute – or that may now be dead because of Trevor’s usual antics. His eyes flicked up when he heard the sound of something getting slammed onto a table, seeing Trevor must have snatched some lube as well as there now was a fancy bottle of lube on the nightstand. The other man plopped onto the bed, rested his hands on his stomach, and glanced over to him with a patient smile on his face, waiting for him to come over. Michael chuckled to himself and waltzed over, stopping when he got to the bed, eyeing up and down Trevor’s frame. The awkwardness of the situation hit him in the face, his heart beginning to race.

It wasn’t surprising to Trevor when he saw the apprehensive look on Michael’s face, he expected it. Telling his best friend to fuck him was asking for a lot, but he knew if he could get Michael to enjoy it too, then he wouldn’t feel so anxious – and he himself wouldn’t feel bad about making a completely straight dude have sex with another dude. “Jesus Mike. What are you, a teenager?” Trevor said with a smirk on his face, throwing his legs over the side of the bed so he could sit on the edge, his hands going for Michael’s belt. The other man jerked back slightly in response, but he remained standing where he was.

“No, it’s just…” Michael trailed off, biting his bottom lip as he watched Trevor nonchalantly unzip his pants, his hips twitching forward a bit when the man’s fingers brushed against his cock through the fabric, desperate for contact. “This is more than just a spur of the moment thing now.”

“Is it now?” Trevor glanced up with a playful expression on his face. His hands skillfully made there way into Michael’s underwear to take out his dick without him needing to look. “Just let me know if you’re havin’ trouble gettin’ hard, sugar.”

“What?” Michael grunted as Trevor began to fist his cock.

“Oh don’t play dumb with me cowboy.” Trevor eyed Michael above him. “I saw that box of penis pills on the table in your living room that one day I came over.” He paused, grinning when the other man bit his bottom lip and glared down at him. “Betcha I won’t have any trouble getting’ ya hard, babe.” He didn’t wait for Michael to answer, latching onto his cock with his mouth and began to suck slowly and gently.

Michael let out a long breath, his body relaxing even more. The sensation of something hot and wet always felt nice around his cock and with Trevor it wasn’t any different. Not only that, Trevor was skilled at the art of giving a blowjob, which is something he already knew from years ago. He just stood and watched his best friend for a bit, his cheeks becoming flushed from the feeling and the scene he was seeing. “Fuck, you were always good at this.” Michael moaned, resting a hand on Trevor’s head who simply hummed in response. Groaning, he rolled his head back, his hips beginning to rock in sync with Trevor’s movements. “Hey T? Was... did I do a pretty good job with this too? I mean, I never sucked you off but did I do okay jerkin’ you off?”

Nearly choking on Michael’s dick from his question, Trevor stopped and pulled back, eyeing the man above him. “This is a _really_ dumb time to be askin’ me that, bud.”

“I’m just wondering, geez.”

Trevor laughed slightly, rubbing his thumb against the underside of Michael’s dick. “You sucked, but whatever you gave me was good enough for me.” He said before taking the other man’s penis into his mouth again, swirling his tongue around the tip making plenty of slurping noises.

Something inside of Michael snapped. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but that comment from Trevor seemed to ignite a fiery blaze inside of him, becoming that much more desperate to see Trevor lose himself because of him. He pulled back, Trevor whining softly in response before Michael grabbed his shirt and shoved him down against the mattress, crawling on top of him. Before Trevor could utter anything, he took his mouth into his own, kissing him with a passion that could only be described as desperation.

Michael actually wanting to kiss him? Now this was something Trevor liked and wanted more of. Michael’s tongue fighting against his, Michael’s taste, Michael’s hot breath any time he pulled back slightly to nibble on his bottom lip, Michael’s hunger – Michael’s everything. Trevor could feel his own dick perk to life, twitching every time his brain would process every touch or thought that involved Michael. _God, what higher deity do I have to thank for this wonderful moment?_ He thought to himself as Michael went to his neck, biting and licking down to his collarbone. With his breathing intensifying the further the other man went, Trevor threw his head back against the pillows, moaning out the other man’s name. His hands unconsciously went to grab at Michael’s shirt, gripping it tightly as if he wanted to rip it off of him or as if he was afraid of falling away from him.

All sorts of exotic noises were slipping from Trevor’s mouth now, making Michael feel quite proud of himself for gaining such a reaction from the other man. Not like he hadn’t heard it before, remembering from years ago just how vocal Trevor became whenever he jerked him off, him and only him. The number of times he had to listen to Trevor in a different room having sex with someone, he never seemed to become this vocal. It just confirmed in his head the long running suspicion in his head that there was some hidden feelings Trevor had for him.

He was forced up to a sitting position when Trevor grabbed the front of his shirt and pushed him up, kissing him hungrily afterwards as his hands dragged down his chest to his cock which was still hanging out of his pants and now fully hard. He gasped into Trevor’s mouth when the other man’s hands began to stroke him slowly.

Feeling Michael twitching in his hand, Trevor broke the kiss and sunk down, wrapping his lips around the swollen flesh in his hand. Michael groaned above him as he caressed him with his tongue, slowly trailing up the underside of the shaft and gliding it around every exposed surface of his cock. Eventually he engulfed the man’s dick, bobbing his head up and down slowly. The pressure in his own groin was seeking attention, but he could ignore it for now, enjoying the feeling and taste Michael’s hot dick inside his mouth.

Erotic wasn’t the correct word to describe Trevor’s movements and touching. Loving was a better term, taking great care to gently stimulate every part of him. It was agonizing to Michael – a good kind of agonizing. Trevor wanted this to last and so did he. Although, he was sure Trevor might want him to return the favor, and that was something he was a little apprehensive about, but he would worry about it when it got to that point.

Michael exhaled sharply, supporting himself with his hands as he leaned back, spreading his legs so Trevor had better access. He flung his head back, silently slipping curse words from his mouth as Trevor dragged his teeth gently against him. His dick slid out of Trevor’s mouth with an obscene pop, the man then brushed his wet, bruised lips along him, his hot breath against his tip every time he exhaled. The man hadn’t lost his touch, but fuck, he wasn’t going to last much longer if Trevor continued.

With Trevor busy, Michael went to the man’s stained white shirt, tugging it up his body. Trevor paused for a moment so that he could remove it, his mouth latching back onto his dick as he tossed his shirt aside. His hand went to Trevor’s back, running it across the bone and muscle that protruded there. Just as he remembered, Trevor’s body had the same jagged shapes and scrawny frame. Not that he had touched it before – save for the few times he had to dress some wounds Trevor got on his back or another part he couldn’t reach – but Trevor would often wander around the motel room or house in nothing but his underwear and he would see his nutrition-lacked body that sported some pumped muscles, particularly in his arms and legs. Every time Trevor would poke fun of him for his fat, he would make fun of his skinny, flimsy looking body. But despite that, Michael would admit Trevor had a nice body that was unfortunately covered in scabs, cuts, and other wounds from his drug use and normal reckless behavior. It tempted Michael to try at some point again to convince Trevor to lay off the meth and other shit, at least a little bit.

After taking off his own shirt, Michael nudged Trevor in the shoulders with his hands, prompting him to lie onto his back. Trevor complied, plopping back onto the mattress. In the process of kicking his pants off, he noticed the other man just lying there, not doing anything.

“Getting shy all of the sudden, T?” He teased, kicking his pants to the side.

If Michael thought he would ever shy before or during any opportunity of sex, well, then he didn’t know him very well. “You’re in charge, ain’tcha Mikey? You take my fucking pants off you lazy fuck.” Trevor’s eyes stayed on the other man as he reached forward, grabbing the waistband of his sweatpants and yanking them down with some force, or possibly impatience. “Geez, settle down there cowboy.”

“Well I’m sorry I’m about to burst because of your fucking amazing blowjobs.” Michael snapped back, his hand going to rub Trevor’s groin after tossing his sweats to the ground, joining his pants. The other man tensed the moment his hand wrapped around his hard shaft through his underwear, moaning as he moved it up and down, jerking him off through the fabric.

“Then do you remember what you’ve been missing these past nine years?” Trevor teased back, grinning when Michael raised an eyebrow at him.

“Apparently I missed nine years of you begging me to fuck you.”

Trevor led out a low growl. “Fuck you Mikey.”

“No, fuck _you_ Trevor.” Michael grinned, hooking his fingers on Trevor’s underwear and pulling them off.

“Then you better get to fucking my brains out ‘cause I’m getting impatient.”

“Aren’t I in charge? I determine when that happens.” Michael said as he took Trevor’s hardness in his hand. Staring down at it, he paused, recalling when Trevor forced the very thing he held in his mouth not long before.

Trevor smirked when he saw Michael hesitate again. He opened his mouth to say something but suddenly the man dove down, taking him into his mouth. A fluid moan left him when he exhaled unexpectedly, Michael tightening around him. “Oh… oh fuck... Mikey.” He arched his back, bucking up into the other man’s mouth. Strong hands gripped his hips, holding them down to keep him from thrusting upward. Still, it didn’t prevent the rest of his body from writhing, his hand going up to grip the pillows above his head. “Oh Michael, Mike… Oh fuck Mike!”

At least the taste was better than the first time he had Trevor’s dick forcefully shoved into his mouth, thankful the other man took a shower earlier after he persuaded him to. It was still difficult for Michael to get used to. He had eaten pussy before but never done fellatio, thinking about all the women that have given him head, feeling quite bashful and humiliated being in that position. Fuck, now he felt bad for the few times he face-fucked some women in a fit of anger when a score didn’t go right.

Slowly Michael moved his head back, the other man’s dick slipping from his mouth. He simply copied what Trevor had done to him, trailing his tongue along his cock and sucking the tip gently. He cringed and pulled back occasionally to take a moments break, the salty, sweaty taste becoming too much to handle or just the idea of having a penis in his mouth made him sick to his stomach. He did his best though, taking Trevor into his mouth as far as he could without gagging, which honestly wasn’t very far.

Normally Trevor would laugh at any amateur sucking cock, but he wasn’t going to laugh at Michael for trying – plus he was grateful that his lips were wrapped around him to begin with. He was strangely aroused by Michael’s uneasy movements, exploring and experimenting with his tongue, and swallowing constantly trying to get use to the taste. It wasn’t exactly graceful, but it was cute, even if ‘cute’ wasn’t a very appropriate word to describe a man giving another man head. Trevor closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling slowly, all his senses trained on Michael’s hot and wet mouth sliding up and down his shaft. God, for a beginner Michael was certainly doing a good job. He just might have to turn the tables soon and fuck Michael if the man didn’t hurry up and get to fucking him.

Trevor twitched in his mouth and Michael withdrew, figuring the other man was about to burst as well if he kept going. On his hands and knees he climbed over Trevor, snatching the lube from the nightstand. Calloused hands were instantly on his chest, roaming around before resting on his sides. Even as he leaned back and sat on his lower legs Trevor leaned up with him, his mouth kissing around his neck and collarbone, his hands again roaming around his body. He couldn’t help but laugh, the other man’s lips tickling his skin.

“Never knew you were a man for foreplay, T.” He chuckled, Trevor growling against his neck.

“I’m savoring this moment you piece of shit.” Trevor answered back, his breath against his skin.

Michael laughed. He reached for Trevor’s chin, forcing it up before he planted a kiss on the man’s lips. They fell back against the sheets, Michael dropping the bottle in his hands in favor for cupping Trevor’s face. The other man’s hands were on his neck now, his thumb rubbing tenderly across his jaw line. Moans were exchanged between their mouths, their tongues battling it out for dominance.

When Michael drew back and glanced towards the window he realized just how dark it had become outside, darkening the room as well. Trevor obviously didn’t care, using his hands to pull himself to him, planting kisses on his jaw, chin, and lips. He tried to move to turn on the lamp on the end table, but Trevor was adamant about keeping him close.

“Fuck the lights.” Trevor breathed near Michael’s ear. “We don’t need ‘em.”

Michael snapped himself back, Trevor hanging off him with his arms wrapped around his neck. “Well maybe I want to be able to see myself fuck Trevor fucking Philips.” He said, reaching over and finally reaching the lamp to switch it on.

Trevor grumbled under his breath. “Fine… I’ll give you that.” A sharp moan escaped him when he suddenly felt Michael’s hand around his dick, pumping him quickly and roughly. Then his lips were on him, nipping at his neck. “Oh fuck…”

The lamp didn’t offer much more light than before, creating more of a dull, ambient mood lighting than anything. That suited Michael just fine now that he had Trevor becoming vocal again, succumbing to his touches so damn easily. Trevor whined loudly when he released him, grabbing the discarded bottle of lube as he shifted himself. The man below him was panting by now, spread and ready for him. Michael himself couldn’t wait anymore, uncapping the bottle of lube and pouring some of it into his hand. He glided his fingers across the other man’s entrance, slowly pushing a finger in causing Trevor to mew happily in response. _Remember, it’s just like fucking any other chick in the ass_. He reminded to himself, adding a second finger. He fed a third finger in, thrusting them in and out of Trevor rapidly, occasionally moving his fingers apart to spread him.

“Oh God.” Trevor gasped, slamming his head back against the pillow, twisting his head from side to side. “Ahh… ah fuck, fuck.” He licked his lips, raising his head to look down the best he could. He’d never forgive himself if he didn’t capture the entire scene and commit it to memory.

“Like that baby?” Michael breathed out, Trevor suddenly tightening around him in response.

“Don’t fucking call me your baby.” Trevor warned.

“You’re body seems to like being called that, _baby_.” Michael smirked, roughly thrusting his fingers in one last time before removing them.

“Shut up.”

Laughing again, Michael looked around, searching around for the condom, where ever he put it. Hell, where did he put it?

“What?” Trevor asked, noticing Michael looking around and becoming increasingly confused.

“Where the fuck did the condom go?"

“How should I know? You’re the one who last had it.” Trevor frowned, getting more impatient as he watched Michael pulled the sheets around looking for the little packet. “Forget it. We don’t need it.” He said just as the other man looked over the edge of the bed, uttering a soft “ah hah!” before reaching down to the floor. He huffed, lying his head back against the pillow and stared at the ceiling.

“Found it.” Michael exclaimed smiling, no longer having to panic about losing the one and only condom they had.

“Yippee ki-yay.” Trevor answered sarcastically, still a tad bit unhappy that Michael insisted using a condom.

“And you say I use movie quotes in a ridiculous way.” Michael mentioned as opened the packet, taking the condom out and putting it on his dick.

Trevor’s eyes narrowed. “I didn’t even realize that was from a movie.”

“Yeah, it’s from-”

“YOU’RE RUINING THE MOOD TOWNLEY.” Trevor interrupted obstreperously, his brow scrunching in agitation.

“Bite me.” Michael spat in response, pushing the tip of his cock against Trevor’s opening hard. Trevor yelped, grimacing from the sudden pain. “Now the fuck shut up.” Michael commanded, shifting his hips back.

“You’re the one who keeps running your mouth about shit you like that I don’t care about.”

Grabbing the lube again, Michael poured some of it in his hand before lathering it across his dick. “You know, I should be doing you without this, considering you weren’t generous enough to use any when you fucked me.” He thought out loud.

“I’m. SORRY.” Trevor articulated in a loud, irritated tone. “Next time I’ll stick a hose in ya and pump you up with lube before entering.”

“Next time?” Michael questioned with a sour expression. “Who says there’s gonna be a next time?”

“Oh, don’t get all bashful on me porkchop.” Trevor grinned at his friend. “After this you’re gonna be crawlin’ to me for some lovin’.”

Michael rolled his eyes with a smile. “Right. Sure.”

Hoping sex would end their bickering, Michael tossed the bottle of lube aside and positioned himself at Trevor’s entrance. His gaze rose to meet Trevor’s, the man’s eyes glued to him as he pushed in. Both groaned as Michael’s tip slipped in, stretching Trevor’s ass open. He was surprised Trevor wasn’t reacting much. He was vocal as he was before but there wasn’t any indication on his face or tone of any pain.

“You’ve done this before right?” Michael asked on a breath, fully sheathing himself inside rather quickly.

“Nope. You’re the only one buddy. Except for a few dildos, my fingers, and… you know…”

Michael listened to Trevor trail off, a slight saddened and uncomfortable look the man’s eyes. He knew exactly what he was talking about. “Yeah, I know.”

“Good, now quit fucking dawdlin’.”

“As you wish Honey.” Michael teased, leaning down to get closer to Trevor, supporting himself with his hands at either side of Trevor’s shoulders.

“God, you’re a dick.”

The fatter man laughed; Trevor would have joined him if a gasp hadn’t interrupted him, feeling Michael jerk his hips against him. His muscles tightened around Michael’s cock as he moved back and forth, his breathing heightening and becoming more uneven. He was in bliss in minutes, throwing his head back and moaning boisterously every time Michael pushed deep inside him. Bliss was actually an understatement, feeling nothing but Michael’s thick, hot cock stretching him and filling him in a more satisfactory way than any dildo or finger could.

“Oh God… you’re so… you’re so fucking big Mike…” Trevor breathed out, his body was getting hotter, a pleasant burning sensation crawling up his spine. His eyes scanned Michael’s body above him frantically, feeling even hotter seeing his best friend sweating, panting, and eyes screwed shut as he thrust into him.

The irritating friction he was feeling at first – possibly due to the condom or just from having anal intercourse – eventually faded and Michael fell into a smooth pace, gliding effortlessly into Trevor. The other man applied just the right amount of tightness around him without it feeling too taut, making it not feel any different than vaginal sex. He moved faster, occasionally slamming himself deep into Trevor who cried out in pleasure every time. Opening his eyes, he glanced down at Trevor, watching him twist his head side to side, fighting to keep his eyes open and looking at him, mouth gaping open, gasping and moaning.

_Mission accomplished._ He thought to himself with a smirk. He successfully got Trevor to lose complete control, all because of his dick in his ass fucking him. That didn’t mean Michael was ready to stop. Trevor felt good, too good. He hadn’t had sex this great in a long time and he wasn’t just going to toss this opportunity away. He could feel his cock twitch when Trevor slid his hands up his arms to his shoulders, gripping on them tightly. Pausing for a moment, he scooted himself and Trevor up further against the pillows. Trevor lifted his hips before he could do so, knowing exactly the position he was trying to get to, obviously desperate himself for a new angle.

Both their movements became more fidgety and frantic as Michael began snapping his hips down again, striking the sweet spot deep in Trevor who moaned his name repeatedly. They practically could hear each other’s heart beating against their chests through their grunts and groans. Their gazes would lock onto each other’s, Michael then leaning down and kissing Trevor hungrily yet tenderly on the lips, parting only to gasp for a few breaths before locking lips again.

Trevor wrapped his arms around the man above him, pulling him close so he couldn’t move away. “Oh… f-fuck…” He breathed against Michael’s moist lips before kissing him again. He ran his tongue along Michael’s bottom lip, eventually going to nip at his top lip, groaning into the other man’s mouth. His senses were still trained on the thick extremity pushing into him, Michael now hitting the perfect spot within him that sent shockwaves up his spine. “F-Fuck…” He threw his head back against the pillows, shutting his eyes.

“Ah fuck…” Michael was beginning to find it hard to breathe, but he couldn’t stop now. He was getting close and he could tell Trevor was close too, his ass muscles convulsing around his dick. He wrapped his arms around Trevor’s smaller frame, one hand hooking into the crook of his neck.

Their bodies were against each other now, Trevor’s dick leaking with precum squished between their stomachs. A choked moan came from Trevor, the new sticky friction from their sweaty bodies against his cock just adding to the intensity already between them. “Ah fuck! Fuck…” His friend’s mouth wandered against his cheek and to his ear, licking at the lobe. “Oh God… Holy fuck. Ah… ah Mike. Michael…” He lost control of his ability to think and talk, words just slipping like liquid from his mouth. “Harder… harder Michael harder! Oh God!”

Michael was losing control at that point as well, Trevor’s hot breath and thick voice in his ear edging him closer and closer to the edge. He alternated between thrusting violently and rocking his hips against Trevor’s, the change in movement getting different but wonderful responses from Trevor, both vocal and physical.

“Oh fuck Mikey. Oh-hhooo.”

Trevor arched his back and pressed against him even more. Michael tightened his arms around him, wrapping one around his waist, preventing him from straightening out again. Fingers clawed at his back, Trevor’s body tensing and shaking.

“Harder Mike! Oh God… Fuck, I’m almost there! Oh my God Michael!” Trevor was practically shouting now, loud enough that any neighboring guests at the motel were most likely hearing him. He could care less, desperate for release yet desperate for the moment to never end. He choked on a moan at the back of his throat as he felt a tingling sensation growing in his groin, the pressure getting worse with each thrust. He bit hard on his bottom lip, feeling Michael’s lips against his ear again.

“You gonna come, T?”

Michael’s voice was low, almost wanting. Trevor howled, the other man hitting him hard in his prostate. “Fuck yes! I’m wanna come!”

“I-I’m gonna come too.” Not the most romantic or sensual reply, but it was the only thing Michael managed to say. He struggled with his breaths, his hips beginning to ache. “Oh fuck, T.” He lifted his head up, kissing Trevor hard on his lips, dipping his tongue inside. Trevor responded eagerly, brushing his tongue against his own and moaning continuously.

Then Trevor felt it, the pressure moving through his dick, demanding release. He broke the kiss suddenly, unable to swallow the gasp deep in his throat. “Oh God! I’m gonna come! I’m gonna come Mike!” He threw his head back, letting out a strangled moan as he jerked his hips up.

Michael squeezed his eyes shut and let his head fall, Trevor tightening around him. Feeling some hot and sticky on his chest and stomach, he was able to sneak a glance between them, seeing Trevor coming violently. The man’s body shuttered in his hold, Trevor gasping and choking on his own breaths.

“Fuck! Oh fuck!! I love you! I love you I love you I love you… fucking love you!”

He lost it; he completely fucking lost it. With one final thrust Michael buried himself deep into Trevor, a strained groan emitting from his throat as he felt the force of his orgasm escape him, pouring his hot seed into his friend’s belly, at least he would have if the condom wasn’t there. He could hardly breathe, literally breathing in Trevor’s breaths with his mouth gaping open right against Trevor own gaping mouth.

“I love you. I love you Michael… oh fuck…”

Trevor shook against him a few more times as he rode out his orgasm, Michael feeling his own body shiver as well. The other man’s cock pulsed against him, which made him wonder for a brief moment if Trevor was still coming and how he even had that much in him for a man who masturbated pretty much every single day. His own cock twitched excitedly in Trevor despite the tightness, feeling like the man was squeezing every ounce out of him that he possibly could. As their breathing slowed, Trevor seemed to fall limp in his arms suddenly, his hands slipping off his back and falling on his knee and on the bed. Michael shifted to support himself with his forearms, moving his head up a bit to be able to get a better view of Trevor’s face. He expected to see the man passed out, but Trevor’s amber eyes were on him, half-lidded and seemingly content. A smile tugged at the corners of Trevor’s parted lips as he looked up at him. Michael felt a tug at the corners of his mouth too, smiling down at Trevor.

They both knew that the other would start laughing if they had the energy, feeling the absurdity and bizarreness of the situation as they stared at each other. Even for how odd it was, neither moved away from the other, which was exceptional in Michael’s case. He thought he’d be feeling regret and shock for doing what he just did, but there was nothing but satisfaction. Maybe it just came from the territory, sex always being a pleasurable experience – well most of the time. But Michael couldn’t help but notice something was different doing it with Trevor, a positive difference he didn’t feel with anyone else, like an extra perk. Perhaps it was all the long years they’ve known each other or just some hidden nostalgic feeling with being together.

Whatever it was, Michael felt like he was starting to crave it like some kind of drug. He wanted it and regretted not getting hooked onto it sooner, that ‘it’ being his psycho pal Trevor. It made him wonder what would’ve happened if he had welcomed Trevor’s advances years ago. Where would he be now? Where would _they_ be?

Suddenly Trevor cupped his face with his hands, bringing himself up to kiss him deeply and take him away from his thoughts. Michael didn’t resist, kissing him back. When Trevor released him and fell back, he raised himself to sit on his lower legs, slowly moving his hips back to pull out, having some difficulty doing so for how tightly Trevor was clenching around his dick.

“Do you want my dick to stay in you or something?” Michael questioned, hearing Trevor laugh quietly.

“If you don’t mind.” Trevor answered with a smirk.

“I do mind, actually. I kinda need it for other things.” Michael replied with a smirk. The other man huffed in annoyance, but relaxed himself nonetheless.

“Uhn fuck…” Trevor moaned as the thicker part of Michael’s dick slipped through his entrance, feeling the ridge of the tip afterwards. “Damn…” He breathed out, closing his eyes, the content smile reappearing on his face.

“Ah fuck.” Michael swore just after he pulled out.

“What?” Trevor inquired, lifting it head enough to glance down towards the other man between his legs.

“Condom broke.” Michael replied, pulling the now ripped condom off his penis.

Trevor chuckled softly as he laid his head back down on the pillow, closing his eyes again. “I swear to God if you get me pregnant I will murder you.” A larger smile spread across his face as he heard Michael burst out laughing, tossing the used condom to the floor before lying next to him, supporting himself with his elbow. He narrowed his eyes at the fatter man. “I’m serious man, I can’t afford a kid right now!”

Michael scoffed humorously. “If you and I could have a kid, it would be the most horrible and deranged human being on the planet.”

“Nah. It’ll probably be the opposite of us. Kind and generous.”

“We got Franklin for that.” Michael responded, twisting around and lying on his back, resting his hands on his stomach.

“True that.”

An awkward silence came over them, neither knowing what to say. Michael closed his eyes as he relaxed with a long exhale, Trevor doing the same beside him. Obviously not one to sit still, Trevor ended up fidgeting not long after, scratching his belly or rubbing his face. The silence got onto his nerves rather quickly, feeling the need to say or do something to provoke some kind of response. Trevor eventually rolled over, stretching an arm over the man next to him, pulling himself snug against him and resting his head on his shoulder. He expect Michael to flinch or push him away, but he didn’t, strangely enough. Heck, he was shocked that Michael hadn’t gotten up and left yet.

“Sooo…?”

“So, what?”

“How was it?” Trevor chirped, looking up at the other man curiously.

Michael opened his eyes slightly and raised a single eyebrow at his friend. “Strangely… enjoyable.”

“Strangely? Enjoyable? Is that the best you can come up with? How about stupendous or euphoric or sensational? Or ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AMAZING?!” Trevor exclaimed in a passionate but agitated voice.

The chubbier man closed his eyes again, a smile slowly creeping across his face. “That’s another way of puttin’ it.”

“Just can’t fucking admit it can you?” Trevor muttered, literally shoving himself away from Michael and rolling around, his back facing the other man.

“What?” Michael responded defensively. After a brief moment of silence he sat up, staring down at Trevor who was curled up and pouting angrily. “What the fuck do you want me to say? I just fucked my best friend, who also happens to be a fucking dude-”

“Never mind, just go to sleep.” Trevor cut him off.

“No, I will not.” Michael snapped back, grabbing Trevor’s arm and forcing him to roll back and face him. “I’m sick of your fucking arrogant attitude Trevor.”

“Me?! My arrogant attitude?!” Trevor cracked up, sitting up as well. “Yeah I admit, I selfishly wanted to have sex with you for a looonnnggg time, but you… PAH!” He shot back, throwing up his hand at the end.

“What about me?”

Trevor narrowed his eyes just as Michael narrowed his at him, both of them staring each other down with intensely serious expressions on their faces. Michael was the only one on edge however, Trevor seeing him swallow nervously behind his firm façade. “Do you ever take a fucking moment to look beyond yourself?” He asked in a low, harsh but serious tone. Michael’s expression softened, now eyeing him with uncertainty. “Your fucking needs have always been more important than anyone else’s and you call me selfish and arrogant? If you really think that what we just did was just for my entertainment and for your own sexual gratification then you can go fuck yourself Michael.”

Well now he was even more perplexed as to what to say. With his lips pressed together, Michael sat there with Trevor staring at him with a pained look slowly washing over his face. Eventually the man looked away, grabbing the sheets and covering himself as he laid back down with his back towards him once again. Michael couldn’t move, yet it felt like someone was shaking him violently and sending repeated slaps across his face. His lips parted to say something, but the words got caught in his throat. Instead he ran his tongue along his upper lip, looking away towards a corner. The thought of just leaving and going home from this mess entered his mind at that moment, seriously considering jumping off the bed, dressing, and walking out the door. But his body moved on its own, grabbing the covers as well and lying snug against Trevor’s back, swinging this right arm across his body to pull him in closer.

Trevor’s eyes flickered open when he felt Michael press against his back, the man’s hand resting on his chest gripping him firmly. His nose wrinkled up as his mouth bowed into a scowl, wanting to twist around and slam his fist into Michael’s face. “I fucking hate it when you do this.” He grumbled angrily.

“And I fucking hate it when you make me feel bad when you assume I’m being a self-centered asshole all of the time.” Michael responded, his voice muffled partially from being buried in Trevor’s neck.

“I fucking hate you.”

“And I fucking hate you too.”

Despite the hostile exchange, Trevor exhaled a breath and quickly relaxed, shifting back against Michael, feeling like he was sinking into the other man’s warmth. Michael seemed to do the same, his arm around him tightening while he outstretched his other arm under his pillow. This was the best it was going to get, Trevor figured. There was one thing he couldn’t help notice however. “You’re… actually staying?”

“I’m fucking tired and I don’t feel like driving home so yeah, I’m staying.”

“Oh.” Is all Trevor could say. A smile slowly crept across his face, feeling content again and wonderfully warm against Michael’s body and under the sheets.

“Do you mind turning off the light?”

Trevor bit his bottom lip, an agitated growl leaving him as he shifted himself up on an elbow, reaching over to switch off the lamp. “And I just got fucking comfortable.”

“You are more than welcome to come back into my arms, _baby_.” Michael said in a slight playful tone, smirking when Trevor leaned back against him, their skin meeting with a smack.

“Fuck you, _fatty_.”

Michael snickered softly as Trevor griped under his breath. His hand had slid down to Trevor’s stomach when he had moved and he just let it remain there, his middle finger brushing over the beginning of his pubic hair there. “G’night, T.” He whispered, hearing Trevor grumble into his pillow, barely making out what he had said – something along the lines of ‘would you fucking go to sleep already?’. He chuckled, heaving out a sigh.

Slowly he closed his eyes, his ears focusing on the soft breathing coming from Trevor. It wasn’t long before he could feel himself drift off, feeling cozily warm with Trevor against him. The other man was always warmer than everyone else he knew. It probably was due to his meth intake, but Michael remembered that his body was warm even before his drug days. It made sharing the same bed easier during the cold nights in North Yankton. Trevor always kept him warm and he kept Trevor warm – or as Trevor once said: “All that blubber in you is useful for once”.

Yet he soon felt the pricking cold of snow falling around him, breathing the crisp air into his lungs. He looked to the sky, watching all the white flurries slowly drifting down towards him. He felt young and energetic like he used to be in his glory days, both as a football star and bank robber. An exhale made him turn his head to the side, seeing an all too familiar face next to him. The other man’s amber eyes glistened in the little moonlight that shined through the cloud covered sky, watching him intensely. A gentle smile crept across Trevor’s face before he looked away, bringing a cigarette to his lips. He was young, no hint of drug use on his skin or any dangerous or psychotic spark in his eyes; the skinny, raggedy kid he had met twenty-eight years ago. There was some weird comfort about Trevor standing next to him, like a familiarity that he never wanted to lose.

It was the nostalgia, the memories – the good ol’ days from the past that he craved to have back.

Running through fields or streets laughing their asses off, amazed they had gotten away from the cops. Going out drinking until they couldn’t stand on their own two feet. Just sitting around and goofing off while Lester prepared their next heist, inadvertently but not surprisingly annoying him in the process. Getting into trouble – both the good and bad kind. Harassing and mugging civilians.

Michael missed it, not to mention missed his youth, the days before he had kids and met Amanda. The days were it was just Trevor and him – hanging out, stealing, fighting – usually with each other, drinking, gambling, and so forth – being bad boys on the loose. Even the moments Trevor scooted uncomfortably close to him, blabbing on about how he wanted to escape with him to someplace warm and sunny, hide out under their aliases for the rest of their lives and live off the millions they had made. The days were he’d wake up finding Trevor lying across his stomach and snoring loudly, or the times Trevor would crack some stupid dirty joke that wasn’t even funny but he couldn’t help but burst out laughing anyways, or the nights were Trevor would be snuggled up beside him and resting his head on his shoulder while they watched a movie. Oddly enough, he missed that too.

What he would give to relive those days one last time.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love after sex arguments. :D And I obviously have a headcanon of Trevor being extremely vocal during sex, which I don't think I'm the only one with that headcanon. XD


	5. Chapter 5

 

Just to feel appreciated – that’s what Trevor had always wanted. He never got it from his mother or father or the seven other men he had to call ‘father’. Michael was the first and really only person that appreciated him for what he was, even if that was being a deranged psychopath that he feared. Their relationship was an awkward and fairly complicated one, but they still valued one another, and over the years that bond between them grew. Trevor felt special, he felt useful, he felt loved when he was with Michael.

Unfortunately for him, Michael didn’t seem to feel the same way about him. Sure Michael had cared about him to some degree, but he was still selfish and self-centered, leeching off of anything anyone did or said that inflated his ego even further. Michael got off on everything that he did to make him feel special and Michael never felt the need to give it back. To him, he’s an asshole, a liar, a backstabber, a cheater – although Michael didn’t technically cheat on him with Amanda, but nonetheless he felt cheated on – and as he already told him “a worthless wretch that deserves to be put under”. He hated him with a burning passion. At the same time, he loved him and fell for his stupid fucking charm like the other simple-minded girls did. He cared about Michael, wanted him to be his, and for him to love him back. Unfortunately he didn’t realize that most of the feelings and affection their relationship had was all one sided until it was too late.

Finally that was all changing. Finally he had gotten Michael to realize how much he meant to him – and to his surprise – Michael was acknowledging his feelings. Still, there was one thing Trevor couldn’t change – Michael was married. He couldn’t be with him or force him to be with him as much as he wanted it. Of course he could always permanently silence the skank of a wife Michael had, also known as Amanda, but he knew Michael would defiantly and literally tear him apart if he did so. He would just have to accept the fact that he couldn’t be with Michael every day and every waking moment. As long as he was there – and not about to fake another death and hide away again – Trevor didn’t mind. The ache in his heart would still be there, like it had been ever since he learned about Amanda all those years ago and when Michael had ‘died’, but he would just have to deal with it. It wasn’t worth loosing Michael by doing something drastic to make him be with him. Maybe one day he’ll get the opportunity to seduce him and reel him in, just like in those cheesy romance movies, one’s Michael most likely enjoyed watching. Until then, some occasional fucking would do just fine.

When Trevor woke up, he realized he had smile on his face. He felt content, more content than he was whenever he choked somebody out. Turning his head he saw Michael sleeping soundly next to him, on his side with his back to him. Trevor didn’t hesitate, wanting to touch the man’s freckled back and the rest of his body, naughty bits included. He rolled onto his side, wrapping an arm around Michael, smiling as he pressed himself against the naked body of the sleeping man. He stuck his face in the crook of Michael’s neck, inhaling his scent. It never took much for Trevor to get aroused, so it didn’t surprise him when he slowly got a hard-on simply from lying next to Michael, touching him, and smelling his aroma. Hell, he could just get a hard-on from talking to him if he wanted to. His hand that rested on the other man’s stomach moved down, stopping before it got to Michael’s groin. It rested there briefly before he removed it, rolling onto his back again and sitting up. He had a better and more sensual idea in mind than jacking off Michael and waking him up that way.

Searching the ground around the bed, he snatched the discarded bottle of lube when he finally found it at the foot of the bed. He buried himself under the sheets and poured a bit of the liquid on his fingers. He crawled over to straddle Michael’s lower legs, placing his hands on his hips and rolling him so that he was on his stomach. He paused momentarily, making sure his movements or repositioning Michael hadn’t woken him up. When Michael didn’t move, his hands then moved down to the man’s ass, gently parting his cheeks, his heart fluttering as he eyed Michael’s entrance. Trevor licked his lips, squeezing some lube onto the hole before running his slicked up fingers over it. He stuck his index finger in – only up to the first knuckle – to test Michael’s reaction. The other man didn’t stir, so Trevor slowly pushed in further. Once his finger was as far as it could go, he pulled it back slowly only to push it back in. He started a slow rhythm of thrusting his finger in, eventually adding a second finger, scissoring and stretching Michael’s opening. He felt delighted and amped up with what he was doing when he realized Michael still was asleep. At least he hoped he was and wasn’t faking it to eventually surprise him and beat the shit out of him.

By this time, Trevor was fully hard, his cock twitching as he thought about the wonderful heat and tightness he was feeling around his fingers that would eventually encompass his dick. He poured some lube onto his hardened flesh, capping the bottle and tossing it aside before going to stroke himself, smearing the substance over his whole dick. His fingers still prodded Michael, making sure he was stretched far enough so that he wouldn’t be woken up by the pain but rather the pleasure. Satisfied that the other man’s hole was ready to take him, he removed his fingers and stopped touching himself. He shifted his legs so he could spread Michael’s, opening the man up to him more to gain better access. He quickly grabbed the lube again to pour some more over his dick and Michael’s entrance before discarding it again. This caused Michael to grunt softly, about to roll over to his back only for Trevor to stop him and gently push him back onto his stomach.

“Now now, don’t be doin’ that.” Trevor said quietly, spreading the other man’s legs again as he stroked himself. He moved forward, using one hand to spread Michael’s butt cheeks and the other to guide himself to his entrance. He pushed his cock against the opening, it easily stretching open to take him in. He heard Michael breathe out a moan, his left hand moving back towards him, trying to grab at whatever was there penetrating him. Removing his hand from his hardness, he grabbed Michael’s arm and pinned it down onto the mattress, even though it wouldn’t have deterred him from shoving his cock into him. With the amount of lube he applied it didn’t take him long fully sheath himself into Michael. His breathing grew rugged as he took a moment to take in the other man’s heat and tightness, eventually pulling nearly out only to stop before the tip. Trevor leaned down – practically lying on Michael’s back – supporting himself with his hands at either side of the man below him and poked his head out from under the sheets. He glanced down at Michael, who was clearly feeling what was being done to him with his eyes shut tightly in discomfort, but he still was not awake. A heavy breath escaped Trevor as he thrust his hips forward, becoming more turned on as he watched Michael’s expression churn while fucking him slowly. Honestly he was surprised that Michael hadn’t woken up yet. Either he had done a good job at prepping him or he was a heavy sleeper, the latter in which he knew from years ago that he was occasionally a heavy sleeper.

He was in complete control – dominating the man that usually walked around with his head held high acting like he had a domineering personality and an inflated ego. Trevor never felt so hard in his life. All he usually had was rough and horny sex. Sensual fucking was never something he really did, but he was loving this. Slowly rocking himself against Michael and feeling the man’s heat from his body drove him crazy.

Whatever was poking him was disrupting his dream – a very wonderful dream and he didn’t have many of those anymore, so Michael wasn’t too happy about being woken up in an annoying and slightly discomforting way. He groaned, fluttering his eyes open as he woke up, quickly noticing the object penetrating him. He breathed out sharply when he finally was awake enough to feel the thrusts, twisting around the best he could and eyeing the man above him. “Trevor? What the fuck?” He breathed out, a harsh moan escaped his mouth when Trevor snapped his hips down, burying himself deep inside. Unfortunately he already felt extremely horny, so there wasn’t any use trying to make Trevor stop. Plus he wasn’t even feeling any pain, just some slight discomfort, which came with the activity they were doing.

“Fuck yeah.” Trevor rocked his hips a little faster, picking up the pace, causing Michael to pant with each thrust. “Or as you would say, fuckin’ A!” He sped up until he nearly was slamming into him, only to slow to the leisurely pace he was at before.

“Fuck you, you horny animal.” Michael muttered, repositioning his arms so that he was lying flat on his chest. He raised his hips a few inches, offering a better angle for Trevor.

A smirk tugged at the corner of Trevor’s mouth when he noticed Michael lifting his hips and spreading his legs further for him. “And you’re a bit of a horny slut yourself.” He said, wrapping his arms around the other man’s bulky frame. The friction from his body touching and rubbing against Michael’s back just adding to his arousal.

“Shut up.” Michael grumbled, earning a laugh from Trevor whose focus went back to pounding into him. He finally became aware of his own painful erection, rubbing against the sheets under him which were a little damp from his precum or excess lube or a mixture of both. “G-God.” He choked out, each of Trevor’s thrusts causing him to rock his own hips against the bed. This was so erotic, Michael couldn’t even focus properly, which is why he kept most of his face in his pillow to keep the room from spinning. He felt Trevor’s hot breath against the nape of his neck and every ghostly touch of his finger tips on his skin. As long as Trevor kept doing what he was doing at the slow and gentle pace he was at, he didn’t care about anything. He even almost didn’t care that he was on the bottom. Well, almost.

Holding in his moans came easy at first, but as Trevor’s cock continuously brushed against a certain spot deep inside of him, Michael let all sorts of obscene noises slip from his mouth. “F-Fuck… What are you hitting?” He asked between pants, his finger digging into the pillow.

“That would be your prostate.”

“This… isn’t going to damage anything will it?”

Trevor paused with his thrusts. “That is the most dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Dicks aren’t meant to be in asses, T.”

“Why do you always gotta ruin the moment?”

“What kind of moment are we having here?”

Trevor growled in agitation, pulling himself out before grabbing Michael’s waist and forcefully twisting him to his back. He crawled over the body beneath him, resting the man’s legs on his shoulders before entering him again. A soft noise emitted through Michael’s teeth and it coaxed Trevor on more. He was sick of Michael holding everything back. He wanted to hear him moan, hear him cry out his name. He wanted him to finally break.

Trevor leaned down further, his increasingly harsh breath on Michael’s face. “Like it this time, _baby_?”

“Fuck… you.” Michael responded as he sucked in a breath, narrowing his eyes at Trevor who grinned down at him.

“You didn’t answer my questionnn...” Trevor sang in a playful tone. The other man moved his gaze away, which didn’t surprise him, but ticked him off nonetheless. He snapped his hips forward, pushing deep into Michael who let out a soft fervent moan, his head snapping back against his pillow. “Hide it all you want Mikey, I can still see through ya.”

“Alright!” Michael grunted loudly through clenched teeth, Trevor quickening his pace. “I-It feels fucking good.”

“You sure ‘bout that?”

“Y-Yess…” Michael answered breathlessly. He wasn’t lying for once. The memories of the pain from the night Trevor first banged him were far gone, replaced by the wonderful sensation he was feeling now – not to mention the memories of the hot and steamy sex they had last night. Each of Trevor’s thrusts hit that specific spot inside of him, feeling like he was being thrown over a fucking rainbow. The burning sensation was there like before, but with the lube it felt utterly pleasant in a strange way. His heart was racing, sending the heat from his groin to the rest of his body, especially his head and brain. He was certain the same was happening with Trevor with the way he panted and looking like he was drowning in his own heat.

“Fuck T…” He paused, seeing Trevor staring down at him with a hungry gaze like he was a predatory animal. He shot him a grin. “At least this is better than you tryin’ to kill me or eat me.”

Trevor laughed. “If I had wanted to kill ya I would have shot _you_ in the head with that fuckin’ flare gun twenty-some years ago.” He explained, his voice then suddenly becoming darker and more agitated. “Or when you took Amanda to the Caribbean right after you met her even though you fucking promised me, or the day I walked into your house after thinking you were _dead_ for nine years…” That word spat out of his mouth like venom, as if it was a curse to him. “…or the when I found Brad in your fucking grave, or the night eleven years ago when you ate the last of my beef jerky!”

“Okay okay… I get the picture.”

Trevor had stopped thrusting at that point, glaring down at his friend. “Point is, if I haven’t kill ya yet, I most likely ain’t gonna do it ever.”

Michael sighed meaningfully. “Alright T.”

“Now can you stop with the fucking accusations?”

“Yeah.”

Trevor blinked, a tad bit confused with the composed yet impatient look in Michael’s eyes. “What?”

“Are we done gettin’ sentimental or are we done fucking?”

A mischievous grin spread across Trevor’s face, leaning down and planting his lips onto Michael’s, kissing him deeply. Warm, large hands glided themselves over his shoulders to his back, tugging him in closer. He in turn cupped Michael’s face with his hands and began rocking his hips against him, earning a few moans from Michael.

Soon they were moving to a rhythm. Trevor snaked his arms around Michael’s body, keeping him close while he slammed into him faster, kissing and biting along his neck. Michael snaked his own hand between them to his neglected hard-on, pumping himself in time with Trevor’s thrusts. Harsh breaths and grunts echoed between them, eventually leading to each other’s names slipping breathlessly from their mouths.

Trevor came first, Michael eventually finishing with a few more pumps of his hand and Trevor coaxing him in a seductive, thick voice. As they both breathed much needed air into their lungs, Trevor pulled himself out, about to lie down when Michael sat up and slung an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in for a kiss. An offer of showering together was exchanged, both of them eventually slipping off the bed and heading to the bathroom, Michael’s arm around Trevor the entire way.

 

\------

 

“I’m honestly surprised I got really into that.”

“Oddly enough, I’m very surprised as well.”

Michael snorted as he tucked his button up shirt into his suit pants. He glanced over to the bed where Trevor was in only his jeans, lying with his hands resting behind his head and his eyes closed. “Although, I am still a bit upset you woke me from my wonderful dream.” He said, tugging up his pants a bit before sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Trevor.

“I bet it wasn’t _that_ wonderful.”

“I was in bed and I turned to see Amanda with her back to me wearing some sexy, dark red, silky bra and panties underneath this sheer long dress or shirt.” Michael began, hearing Trevor grumble Amanda’s name softly. “But when Amanda turned over I realized it was actually you wearing all that shit and damn… you looked hot in it.” Trevor burst out laughing, laughing so hard he was rocking the bed. Michael frowned, twisting around to narrow his eyes at his friend. “I’m serious man, I got turned on by it for some reason. I mean, in my dream I did.”

“Only in your dream?” Trevor questioned with a grin. “One day you’ll be wishing you weren’t in so much denial Mikey.”

“My denial will help keep our little secret between us.”

“MMmmm… our dirty little secret.” Trevor said seductively, licking his lips.

Michael just shook his head, looking away. “You know, it’s not Amanda’s fault she got pregnant.”

Trevor blinked and narrowed his eyes as he stared at the ceiling, confused as to why Michael suddenly moved to that topic. “Did I ever say it was her fault? It’s your fucking fault you fat ass.”

“I know.”

“Could never keep that little perky boy of yours in your pants.”

“Like you’re a walking definition of sexual restraint, T.” Michael mocked back, looking back at Trevor again.

Trevor raised an eyebrow. “At least I don’t go around makin’ babies.”

“And it ain’t my fault condoms were pieces of shit back then.”

“Excuses excuses…”

Michael cracked up, unable to keep a straight face anymore, brushing a hand over his mouth. The man lying next to him mumbled something that he didn’t catch. Eventually he found himself staring at the floor, thinking of nothing in particular, listening to Trevor’s raspy breaths.

Trevor sat up and hopped off the bed. “Welp… I guess we better get goin’.”

“Wait.” Michael sprung up as well, holding out a hand to stop Trevor from leaving the room. “I need to talk to you.”

“ _Now_ you wanna talk, porkchop?” Trevor quirked his head to the side, the agitation already in his voice. “What happened to _talking_ when I first walked back into your life?” He spat at the other man.

“Easy, T.” Michael was quick to snap back. “Look, I’m sorry about what I did, and being a liar, self-centered, a dick, a complete fucking scumbag and all that.” He explained, Trevor nodding in agreement at everything he listed. “I’m sorry that Brad’s in the ground and that I stabbed you in the back and was scared of you and that I used you and that I forgot about-”

“Yeah yeah yeah yeah…” Trevor jumped in, hushing Michael. “Just stop. You’re really fucking terrible at apologizing but I get the picture.”

“Yeah… okay. I guess that works.”

A low grumble vibrated in Trevor’s throat as he looked away, his hand going to the side of his head, fingers tangling themselves in the little hair there. Same as Michael, he had some explaining to do as well – for his behavior, reactions, and anger. At least this kind of thing came easier for him than it did for Michael. He’s always been honest about his feelings, even if it was harsh or downright demeaning.

“I guess… it does. I gotta admit too, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I mean, let’s be honest Brad was a dick, and things were getting out of control.”

“ _Seriously_?!” Michael snapped loudly, taking a step towards the other man. “First you were all Brad this and Brad that and now it’s ‘Brad’s a dick!’.”

“Well he was. Anyways… You had the kids and you’d already missed so much of their growing up, I could feel like I was losing you, so I pushed you harder. I thought that – that was how to keep you in the game, and I didn’t want to lose you.” A sudden heat made his face flush, most likely reddening his cheeks even as he scowled and glared at the ground. He grumbled, hearing Michael soft snickering. “I’ve said that already, haven’t I?” He muttered, trying to hide his embarrassment in his voice, but it came through anyways. He cleared his throat. “It was gonna blow up, man, we all knew it was, and I guess… I guess I’m happy you made it out alive.”

There was a cheeky grin on Michael’s face, his eyes bright as if he was a kid receiving his favorite toy for Christmas. “Daw! T…” He nearly squealed, swinging his arms out and wrapping them around Trevor, giving him a giant, smothering, bear hug.

Leave it to Michael to ruin a tender moment. As much as Trevor wanted to punch him in the face, he leaned into Michael’s touch, savoring the warmth and scent of his body. He could’ve melted right then and there, feeling that hot and fluttering sensation in the pit of his stomach every time he had any loving contact from Michael, but soon the other man’s death grip was too much for him and he squirmed. “Let go of me before I dig your eyeballs out of your sockets with a spoon!”

A smile was still on Michael’s face even as he staggered back after Trevor shoved him away. “I never knew you could be so charming T.”

“You’re turn cowboy.” Trevor said as he stood there stoic.

“What?”

“Talk.”

“What else do you want me to fucking say?”

“I want to know the truth.” Trevor sternly said, staring Michael right in the eye.

Michael blinked in confusion. “About what?”

“You know what.” Trevor responded coldly.

Michael looked down, brushing a hand over his mouth before moving it to the back of his neck, letting out a drawn out sigh. “Everything?”

“Everything.”

“Okay.” Michael nodded slowly, sounding defeated. He glanced back up at Trevor, who thankfully wasn’t staring him down with a death glare. “I took a long look at my life, where I was headed and any terrible possibilities down the road for me or my family, mainly for my family. I had to make a decision, I just didn’t know what. Then I met Dave.”

“Yeah? And how did that come to be?”

“We bumped into one another outside a café, if you’d believe it. We got to talking and he pretty much picked up on the fact that I was who I was, off of police sketches or somethin’. So I said right then and there that I just wanted out, so that my family was safe. He’s the one who came up with the idea of faking my death and arranging for us to move to a different place under a new name. I got out, he got the glory.” Michael paused, his gaze never leaving Trevor’s. “I honestly didn’t know he was going to kill you.”

“Righttt… He just happened to accidently fire that bullet towards my chest, which ended up ripping through Brad’s chest instead.”

“I’m serious Trevor. Had I known, I would have put a stop to it.”

“And how the fuck didn’t you know?”

“You weren’t even part of the deal initially. When Dave and I met again to discuss it further, he told me to reveal who you were. I refused to, T. I did. But then he laid this guilt-trip on me that if I didn’t hand you over then the deal was off and they would come and arrest Amanda for harboring a fugitive, split up my kids, and kill the two of us.” At that moment Trevor looked away and Michael noticed the slight afflicted look on his face, as if he finally was understanding the problematic position he had been in. “You see? I had a difficult decision to make. Believe me, I never wanted you to get caught, or die, or anything. When Brad got shot after he walked in front of you and realized just _where_ he got shot, I panicked. That’s why I told you to run after Dave knocked me down, ‘cause I knew that if you stayed you’d get killed too.”

“I’m not one to up and leave his friends behind.”

“Well, I’m glad you did that time, T.”

“Only because I thought the both of you were fucking dead.” Trevor responded, his voice nearly cracking. The memory of seeing Michael and Brad lying lifeless in the snow always had been something that haunted him. “Just as you had a heartbreaking choice to make, it was heartbreaking for me to just run off.”

“I’m… I’m sure it was.”

“Okay, so then what happened?”

Michael laughed half-heartedly. “Next thing I knew I was in an interrogation room, waiting for Dave to have another meeting with him. I was furious. I got into Dave’s face the minute he walked in and demanded to know why he tried to shoot you down. He just smirked at me and said I was to hand you over, that he didn’t specify how though. I lost it. I punched him in the face.”

“Yikes.”

Michael chuckled softly. “Yeah, I’m surprised he didn’t arrest me for that. But I’m sure he didn’t care at that point. He got his glory and was going to get the money from me to keep our little deal under wraps.” He let out a short breath, seeing Trevor was waiting for him to continue. “After that, Amanda, the kids, and I were on a plane heading here to Los Santos. Dave helped us find the mansion and well… now we’re here.” He explained, outstretching his arms. “Everything was fine the first two years, but after that things really went downhill.”

“And I’m sure you didn’t worry about me a bit did you?”

“No, I worried about you a lot actually. I watched the news every day for months afterwards to see if they had caught you or if you’d been killed. I worried less when I heard nothing for a year and then two. I figured you were okay. Occasionally I would see those FIB most wanted commercials with your name and picture being one of the top five, but after a year or so I didn’t see it as much. I think there were others that became more of a top priority for them than you were.”

“People worse than me?!” Trevor retorted, titling his head slightly before laughing rather comically.

“I dunno ‘bout that. Maybe they realized how insane you actually are and became that much more frightened of you and didn’t want to go after you anymore.” Michael replied with a grin.

“Psh. I’m flattered.”

“Although I do remember Davey saying something about doing some ‘creative writing’ about your case or somethin’. He may have had somethin’ to do with it, but anyways…” Michael rubbed the back of his neck, looking at the floor briefly. “I’ll admit, as time went on I started to worry again. Not so much about your safety, but my family’s and mine.” Trevor simply raised an eyebrow at him, his mouth twisting into a small scowl. He swallowed. “It was because I thought about what would happen if you somehow found out I was alive, what you might do if you did find me. I admit, I got scared, T. I know how you react to shit like that and I knew you would probably behead me or somethin’.”

“And did I?”

“No…?” Michael voice was low and uncertain when he replied. The other man again simply raised his brow at him with a smirk, holding his hands out either side of him as if to say ‘you see?’. Michael shook his head. “Yeah I know that. I didn’t know that then though. Perhaps my paternal instincts finally kicked in and I just got overprotective of my family. Or maybe you are just that nuts and I had every legitimate reason to be scared.”

Trevor growled. “Asshole…”

Michael laughed. “Then you walked through my front door T. I nearly shit myself. And well…” He paused, shrugging his shoulders. “Here we are now. Happy ending. Anything else you wanna know?”

There was a moment of silence, Trevor thinking to himself before speaking up. “What ever happened to my Happy Meal toy I got in 1998?”

“…W-What?”

“You know, that creepy thing with the large eyes and beak and huge ears? They look like mutant owls.” Trevor explained. The other man stared at him, obviously having no clue as to what he was talking about. “C’monnn! You know?! They talked and shit, and some people thought they were possessed! They were called Fuzzies or Fuzzballs or somethin’.”

“You mean those Furby things?”

“YESS!!!” Trevor’s yell almost came out as a squeal, arching his back as he did so. “What the fuck ever happened to it?!”

“T, that was fifteen fucking years ago. How the fuck am I supposed to remember?”

“I know you had something to do with it! I loved scaring the shit out of you by holding it in front of your face when you would wake up.”

“Ohhh, now I remember.” Michael shot Trevor a smirk. “I crushed that thing.”

“You what now?”

“I took it and I fucking stomped my foot on it and threw it into a lake.”

“You bastard!”

“T, that thing’s eyes moved on their own! It frightened me more that you do! I was doin’ both of us a favor by killin’ it.”

“I’m never going to forgive you.”

“Wait, why the fuck are we arguing over me killing a fucking plastic toy?” Michael asked. “Seriously though, you want to know anything else about that incident and _not_ any other random one?“ Trevor grumbled softly in response. A minute or two of silence went by before a smile slowly grew on Michael’s face, speaking up again. “Brad was a dick, wasn’t he?”

Trevor’s angry scowl flipped, smiling as well. “Yeah, yeah, he was, bless him.”

Michael laughed softly. “Hey, you want some breakfast? My treat.”

“Sounds good, cowboy.” Trevor answered, turning towards the door only to hear Michael speak up behind him again.

“By the way, you know this ain’t gonna work out.”

“What?”

“You and me. Besides, I made a promise to Amanda that I wouldn’t cheat on her again.”

“You know that promise ain’t ever gonna last.”

“I’m tryin’ my best to make it last.” Michael responded sternly. “And I’m straight. And you’re…” He trailed off biting on his bottom lip, holding his hands out to Trevor, eyeing up and down the thinner man’s frame. “You’re… you’re… you’re whatever you are.”

Trevor raised an eyebrow. “Meaning…?”

“You’re gay and straight and horny.”

“I believe the accepted vernacular for that is bi-sexual.”

“Whatever.”

“And sleeping with me makes you completely straight, huh?”

“Yeah… no. Well, maybe I’m bi-curious. I dunno.”

“Uh-huh…” Trevor nodded nonchalantly walking over to the door, opening it and turning around to Michael who had followed him. “Just admit you like cock, Mikey.”

“Just yours.”

“Good!” Trevor excitingly replied, smacking the pad of his hand hard on Michael’s back. “Don’t need ya sleepin’ around on me.” The other man just laughed.

 

\------

 

Both went to a nearby café for some breakfast. Michael sipped on his coffee, watching Trevor mutilate his fried eggs with a fork before shoving pieces into his mouth. He ate like a starving animal. It was amusing to watch but also a bit pathetic to see. As he watched, Michael’s mind wandered, memories of past events, both recent and not recent quickly playing through his mind. The day several weeks ago entered his mind again, the day he stumbled upon Trevor’s mental breakdown in his trailer. As much as he hated getting to the ‘mother’ subject with Trevor, he had to know.

“Hey, T?”

“Yeah?” Trevor said while chewing, tilting his head up slightly to look at Michael, a bit of yolk dribbling down his chin.

“What ever happened that day out at your trailer? With your mom bein’ there?” Michael wasn’t surprised when Trevor seemed to go ridged and his eyes widened for a split second before turning his head away, looking towards the floor. He could tell the man was swallowing back whatever words that were coming to his mouth, hesitant to reveal anything. After a moment of silence Michael sighed, rubbing his face with one of is hands. “Look, I’m just asking…”

Trevor pursed his lips as he looked back at Michael. As much as he didn’t want the other man to see his discomfort, he wasn’t doing much to hide it. “My… my mum was there…” He mumbled, his voice barely audible amidst the low music playing and the chatter of other patrons.

“What’d she do?”

“She was just there to say ‘hi’.” Trevor explained, his voice still low. The eggs he just consumed now beginning to taste nasty in his mouth as he felt the uncomfortable gurgling in his stomach. When he looked in Michael’s direction again, he could tell Michael didn’t believe him, raising his brow at him with a crooked frown stretched across his face. He lowered his head towards the table, resting the side of it on his arm while his other hand went to the top of his head, running through his thinning hair. “She said I was worthless piece of shit.” He eventually muttered, his voice slowly growing louder and more agitated, but still cracking nonetheless. “She said all the things she’s said in the past about me being a good-for-nothing, selfish son and shit and… fuck…” His voice cracked and his head sunk lower, his forehead against the table. “She’s fucking right!” He cried out, unable to grasp onto any thread of control over his mind or body. “I never gave her enough love while she bathed me, fed me, housed me, and gave me all the love in the fucking world.”

“T, she’s… you, you shouldn’t have to take that crap.” Michael responded slowly, choosing his words wisely.

“She’s my mom.”

“And you’re fucking forty-eight years old. It’s time to grow the fuck up T.”

Trevor snapped his head up, baring his teeth. “Fuck you!”

Realizing they were creating a slight scene within the café, drawing a few other patron’s attention, Michael lowered his voice. “Hey, look, I’m trying to make a point. The many years I’ve known you you’ve always done shit for her and she’s never appreciated any of it.”

“That’s because I’m a horrible son who never visited or called his mum. I’m an ungrateful shit.”

“You visited her several times and searched fruitlessly to fucking find her several other times without success! You went to see her in jail and even when you broke your leg in three different places you jumped onto a plane traveling all the way up into Canada to see her in the hospital, and that time she denied your fucking visit.” Michael explained, listing everything off with his fingers. “Then every time you came back you had this completely withdrawn and broken look in your eyes and I could tell your soul had just been fucking crushed and each time you never seem to be able to wrap your head around the fact that she doesn’t give two shits about you!”

Trevor, for once, looked defeated, torn between the words of his mother and the words of his best friend. Amber eyes with a hint of despair burned into his own and Michael’s own inner thoughts were reeling at him. He’s always wanted to voice his opinion about Trevor and his mother, but now he wondered if it was really worth it. He didn’t think about what might happen to Trevor if he ever realizes that his mother was just playing him as a fool. Then again, he had played Trevor as a fool, and yet here he was, sitting across from him. Trevor clung to him. Trevor clung to his mother. But his mother was a different story. The truth might crush him beyond the point of no return.

For minutes Trevor didn’t move, only blinking a few times. The silence and Trevor’s unresponsiveness started to get under Michael’s skin. “I’m just tryin’ to help you out, man. I always hated seeing how much she took advantage of you.”

Trevor lowered his head slightly, his voice just a mutter. “I took advantage of her.”

“Dammit, T!” Michael balled his hand into a fist but stopped himself before he slammed it against the table. “Think about it. Did she ask you to get that Deludamol van?”

“Yeah…”

“Then what happened when you got back?”

“Then… then she was gone.”

“Don’t you see?!” Michael said, doing his best not to outright yell at Trevor. “She makes you do this shit for her and does she care? Is she thankful? No. She turns around and points an accusing finger at you claiming you never appreciated what she did for you while she never shows any appreciation for any of the shit you do. It’s a hideous cycle you need to get the fuck out of Trevor.” The other man stayed silent, eyes seemingly searching the table as if the answer to everything was etched into it. Michael honestly couldn’t tell if Trevor was really listening to him and considering his words or just blocking him out completely.

“You need to let go.” Michael said gently. “You were able to let go of me after you thought I was dead, right? I’m sure you thought of me but you-”

“I never let go of you.”

“O-Oh?”

Trevor groaned in embarrassment as he looked away, rubbing his face with his hands, hiding the blush that most likely stippled his cheeks. “Yeah.”

A sigh slipped from Michael’s lips. “Okay then. But do you get what I mean? At least something… good, I guess, came from our relationship. We became friends, buddies, partners. Yeah, I know I haven’t been the greatest friend to you but at least I care about you Trevor. Your mom? Your mom could care less about your existence and exploits it completely.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

Michael blinked. “Huh? Really?”

_No you’re not you fat fuck._ Trevor screamed inside of his head, but nodded his head anyways. He was sick of the conversation and Michael poking his dick in places it didn’t belong, only agreeing with him to finally end his intrusions into his life. Fuck what Michael was saying. He didn’t know his mother like he did. His mother loved him, and he never cared enough for her. She never used him, never took advantage of him, and never abused him. Michael, on the other hand, should take a look in a mirror. _Like you’re any fucking better you snake._

Noticing Trevor withdrawing further, Michael decided to change the subject, figuring he got his point across. “Hey, how ‘bout after this we go get some lap dances from women half our age who have absolutely no interest in us?” He asked, a smirk on his face.

Trevor raised his gaze, a grin slowly spreading across his face. “Just like the good ol’ days?”

"Just like the good old days."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter didn't turn out the way I thought it would. I thought I had it planned out better but after writing the first half I realized I hadn't thought about what would happen with the rest of it, so it may seem kinda rushed. :/


End file.
